purple_me

its been so super long.

2005-12-17T02:34:00.000-08:00

goodbye my lover is playing.

its by james blunt. super nice song. i think he just released it or sth.

and now, i reali dunno if this is gonna be a one post wonder ok. but i suddenly realli feel like writing again.

caroline's zzzover is tonite. i think my dad hates me. dats wat shan thinks aniwae. haha. cuz im never ever home. lets see. if i tell my whole entire week on da blog den its no fun anymore rite. cuz id rather tell pple verbally about my week. see,dats why i stopped.haha.

byebye.

we founded ourselves.how could she rob us of dat.

2005-08-27T10:07:00.000-07:00

helena is playing.

ive taken a new interest. and dats to sit on my study table at home, place my purple kiddy chair, da one wif da snow flake on it, and do work atop of it. i.e my study table has become my chair and my kiddy purple chair has become my table.

im wierd. i know. listened to clay yest as i did my tuition hw for today. and my eyes kept averting itself towards my camera. i need to see pictures of us. our faces. our smiles. our silly poses. and be reminded again of our together-ness.

why da school is doing this to us. i will never get. lionel, yan aparently gets your PAP way of thinking, but i'll never. i'll never. bullshit. unfair. they cant do this.

but they haf. and when lihuan called after da meeting yest, all she said into the phone was that they couldnt do anything about it.

da new bloody bastard of da day. sucha disgusting asshole. decided to step up. after never coming for both da gals and da guys trg for so damn bloody long(pun intended. he takes an even longer time den a snail i teel you, to walk from da staff room to da courts). and conduct da meeting. NO j2s allowed. can you imagime. they know just exactly how strong we would haf been. just how manipulative and vocal we would haf been in our arguments. "da teachers are in a VERY UNCOMPROMISING MOOD today. i though dat we made it very clear to da j2s already. just LEAVE."

just walk away liddat? are you kidding me, you fat bastard.

so now we're left wif GUESS WHO? and da bitch. and da team dosen even get a say in who will be taking over. NO, da SCHOOL will decide who is more suitable, based on qualifications and wat shit. yar rite, more like a GENERAL physical education cert, which in some miraculous little twist, tennis happens to be part of.

ts not easy you know. getting a coaching cert. allof us haf been to see how exactly da wannabe coahes are tested on their tecnique, confidence, ability to handle problematic situations, their ability to convey instructions clearly blah blah. we used to go to da nice nice courts stop westin of sth. some club near that area aniwae. and pretend to be begginers. helping out da ones we liked, by hitting roper strokes, and purposely making it difficult for da ones we didnt. anyhow whack. mean a i look back now, but i wouldnt haf done it different. cuz im sure we helped more den we screwed up. and givn da personalities GUESS WHO? and da bitch has. getting past da practical part would haf been so easy cus they haf just so much CHARM in them dun they. and da theory
part dats da hell part. i dunno how many books you haf to cover in dat short span of 3 days. da examinations and da practical are all completed during dat 3 days. so its realli make or break.

no way could either one of them haf gotten dat cert. NO WAY.

da durian vs da 3 oranges. wat an CLEVER analogy. im sure da fat bastard must haf thought of it. afterall, his GP must be freakin PRO musn't it.

we af ZERO dollars in our funds. and yet they refuse us even da most basic of answers. every question they posed ust got shot down. apparently the teachers were in more of an UNDERSTANDING stand den a PUT-YOU-DOWN stand. but i seriously doubt dat. 1hr and 15mins later and still nothing was any clearer den yest. how understanding could they haf been?

i hate da school so much. and yest as da durian was giving us her speech to us in da hall about you know, her usual predictions about how all of us are going to fail our A levels and end up as road sweepers and whatever lowly paid workers, no offence cuz i know how important their jobs realli are, in short her usual utterly discouraging speech, i couldnt even bare to look at her, cringing at each word she let slip of her mouth.

how could she rob us of something we fought so hard to establish. we fought for it. and we founded da team we haf at present. we founded coach. we founded ourselves. how could she rob us of dat. how could she rob us of him.

i feel so cheated.

we're all in this together.

be strong my loves. and thank you. ive been sucha mess lately.

p.s. gals, drink more water, we need to replenish our tears, or so says lionel=)

i cant wait till sunday.

piggy!!

2005-08-21T14:20:00.000-07:00

how could an angel break my heart is playing.

i haf a new doggy!!1 and oh my goodness. it is so super duper cute. and cute, coming from me, you'd be silly not to believe me. its another black german shephard. i haf THREE of them now. 2 black and 1 white.

sachin and kiera are HUGE by da way, dats why i was so -UGH!!- when i was told last night dat they'd bought a new dog. HUGE = HUGE tongue = LOTSA LOTSA icky dicky saliva all over you and your face straight after you bathe! no no no licking ra's face!

piggy (his first name, after fungus,ebony,hector..) is so super duper tiny! haha, 3mths old only. if dods could stay this small forever, i might actaully be able to love one of them. ok. i sound like da typical most tyranical SPCA-ian enemy. buying da pet on impulse. and den abandoning soon after cuz its lost all its cuteness.

tsk tsk. but i guess ts true. im more da look-but-there's-no-need-for-touching kinda person when it comes to animals. with da exceptions of a few moments of infatuation. like with piggy! and yanyan's dog. haha. miki onli loves me!;)

my mother has suddenly decided she wants to name him atticus now tho. everytime i hear dat word, im reminded of da dead-bird-atticus-sticker my sister has on her electric guitar. wat a spoiler. i think piggy is name. or fat dumpling or sth. haha. he's realli a fat pig tho, literally fat. sleeps and sleeps and sleeps in your lap. a fluffy ball of fur!

there's this new brand of chocolater, known as DARS! everyone, go try it. especially da dark chocolate. 45% of it is bitter chocolate. super heavenly!=) plus it comes in a very very nice box!

we won yesterday=) nistelrooy scored, 66'. my first time watching them LIVE after so long. missed our opening game against everton last week cuz of yanyan's burfdae dinner. cant wait for giggs to recover from his chest infection. he's already missed our first 2 games and his world cup qualifyer for wales.

i love my manutd=)

2005-08-20T18:19:00.000-07:00

how did i fall in love with you is playing.

i feel so exhausted.

today during lit. im tellinh you. its not dat i didnt wanna care. or i didnt wanna think fr dat matter. but there was this barrier which was preventing me from actually sending across a msg to my poor brain dat rite there and den, i needed to think. and stay awake. like dat little film of water covering da soil. i dun remb wat its called anymore. soil water was it? never mind.

lunch wif da gals. haven eaten wanton mee there in sucha long while!

and den tuition. oh god.

thank you lord. i survived my morning. there's drive me crazie later. i realli cant remb whether i watched it. cuz my memory might just be made up of da scenes in da britney video.

i love da backstreet boys=)

i ran. wif szeech and hy!=)

2005-08-19T21:54:00.000-07:00

how did i fall in love with you is playing.

i ran today. and got all hyper as usual after dat. a different sort of happie. dats wat sze chi calls it. she and hy feel happie cuz they're gonna lose weight. but im happie. cuz, for some wierd reason, i love running=)

haha. da people around da track must haf thought we 3 were prettie wierd. high knees. running. fast feet. i miss trg so so much. played abit wif da gals today. volleyed! cant believe dat only 4 of them turned up for match play.

heh. chong. li huan. wileen and sing hui. thank you for putting up wif me. stealing your precious rackies. and hitting balls all over da court. haha.

watched da bballers for abit. yes yes. caroline's toro guy was there, in his usual zai-act cool demeanour. haha. she's telling me now dat i should take picture wif him on da last day of school, despite all da embarrassments. he makes me smile tho=) and caroline=) and tracy=) and my darling=) he makes all of us smile, in wo-bei-yuan-wang!!-ness, in never-ending-ness-about-how-zai-he-is, in cute!-ness, in amusement respectively. so interestimg.

prom theme for this year's gonna be 'embarce the night', in spanish. so super vaugue. but thank goodness, its ALOT better den tropical sling. i want my purple gown=)

i miss having someone to miss. someone quick, get me to fall in love with you!

im not entirely joking.

august is here=)

2005-08-09T13:21:00.000-07:00

do you still is playing.

my very first august post.

bestest best month of da year. i must haf a son called ryan, hopefully, in da month of august when i grow up man. haha. wun stop giving birth till i get a son;)

haha. ive run outta things to say already. my burfdae was perfect. from da very first second till da very last. only thing dat went wrong was dat i lost da purple earring my mum gave me at borders.

mj national day celebrations were so so bad. da shittiest one by far ive ever had to sit thru. we didnt even sing lah. how could you not sing during national day?! so entitely stupid. my lovely tk corner. miss da celebrations we used to haf in tk so so badly. did tk philosophy=)

sam.darling.sw.xy.mr willy wonker!=)

*huggz tite. to all da beatiful pple in my life whom i love so much. dat worked so hard to make sure i had a perect burfdae.

i very very badly need to lose weight.

season starting soon! on yanyan's 1 1/2 years anniversary=)

happie national day!=)

channel m.

2005-07-25T18:50:00.000-07:00

i believe from my sassy girl is playing.

ive suddeney become very korean again. last sat they showed wo de ye man nui jia jiao. den this week. da extremely spastic dr k. which i watched, from beginning to end, just cuz che ren biao was in it. haha. li junli in wish upon a star=) one of my most fave korean dramas. and mr cool!! haha. sucha spontaneos buy-and-watch act by carol and i. haha. and da day toro guy business got a bit out of hand. *shivers

hmmm. and its kinda settled. every monday from now, actually since last week, is gonna be da day where i haf 4hrs 45mins ++ of concentrated math lessons. hapie? sad?

and starting tml is gonna be three straight days of fun! i love love love burfdaes! dr alfie's juling's and den delon's! super duper exciting! haha=)

had breakfast wif my darling today. da national day song by rui en and taufik was just playing over and over and over again in macs man. both the chi and da end version. they took turns. do you know they even haf their own channel? CHANNEL M. yes, how original rite.

my tennis day tml. backhand and forehand rally=)

i feel happier today. den ive felt over da past few days. im not sure why. bt t feels kinda nice=)

i miss my dearest. when i gave juling da lily, i couldnt help think of da lily i gave sam. so so prettie=)

ra is happie=)

*hi shan! i love your vampire hearts=)

harry potter and the half blood prince.

2005-07-18T20:13:00.000-07:00

tong hua is playing.

harry potter and da half blood prince. good good book.

nothing else to say. i brought giant chocolate pocky for my class today. and somehow managed to pass so many of my teniss pple along da corridors today. its almost become a trend, due da new disgusting time table, da whenever i bring stuff, i never see any of them. yay=) shushu's entry for today is so so cute. haha. please please dun rain cuz if not i wun be able to bring my recious harry potter bookie to school for her tml. haha. and its all her fault all ive been thinking of eating nothing but yakun for da past few hours. cant wait till wed. yakun and carol's ee mee.

aniwae. endured 2 and a half hours of math tuition today. no joke man. and all i did was vectors. which to me, i even worse den trigo. oh god. plus da 3 more math periods i had in school today. dats a record breaking 4hrs 45mins of math i endured today=)

teaching backhand for tennis lessons tml. cant wait to play=)

i miss my dearest. im happie in my own little world.

love is all around [me]=)

tong hua.

2005-07-15T21:58:00.000-07:00

tong hua is playing.

today was a good day.

ive missed it. spending time wif you.

da orange flavoured lollipop you tried to bribe me wif just so you wouldnt haf to step into flower power. exploring all da different brands of steam buns and ice creams in da supermaket. singing tong hua. trying to decide wat and where to eat just in front of da orange julius counter. pizza hut=)

i love you so much. you'll never lose me.

".. i think we alwaez, i included, alwaez talk about how we dun want someone who's gonna change themselves juz to suit us. but in another light, if you do love someone, you're bound to be influenced by [his/her] likes/dislikes/interests. its only human nature. [sort of a] ai wu ji wu [thing]. just [another] something to ponder on. love realli is a mystery=) ..'

dun you think its true. you dun want dat someone to change him or herself to become another. because by then, he or she wouldnt haf been da person you fell in love with. but along da way, how could da both of you not at all haf influenced each other with regards to each of your likes and dislikes. just dat in every case, the extent of and subject of influence is different. which brings us to who den knows when da line, between influencial change and purposeful change, has been crossed rite.

haha. my latest self enlightened fact(?).

[tong hua - guang liang]

wo yao bian cheng tong hua li
ni ai de na ge tian shi
zhang kai shuang shou bian cheng chi pang shou hu ni
ni yao xiang xin
xiang xin wo men hui xiang tong hua ku shi li
xin fu he kuai le shi jie ju

beautiful song.

'.. smile for me. but only if its from da bottom of your heart..'

girl wth a pearl earring.

2005-07-14T19:44:00.000-07:00

qi li xiang is playing.

so fast? or so slow? its thursday. still cant decide. lionel going on and on about how little time left we haf left to prelims and to da big As is juz scaarring da shit outta me. start noW start nOW start NOW(!!!) ra. and yet, here i am, blogging in front of my lousy old com. but on da other hand, yay! its thursday, there's OC and onetreehill.

im still as lost as ever. thankfully this time round i didnt qualify for another session of meeting da P. but barely scraping thru, wif wat WONDERFUL grades i got, does not make it any less of a big scary deal.

"..Now, let us begin again." He reached around to the cupboard behind him, picked up a earring, and held it out to me
"I want you to do it." I had thought I could ever be so bold.
Nor had he. He raised his eyebrows and opened his mouth to speak, but did not say anything.
He steped up to my chair. My jaw tightened but I managed to keep my head steady. He reached over and gently touched my earlobe.
I gasped as if I had been holding my breath under water.
He rubbed the swollen lobe between his thumb and his finger, then pulled it taut. With his other hand, he inserted the earring wire in the hole and pushed it through. A pain like fire jolted through me and brought tears to my eyes.
He did not remove his hand. His fingers brushed against my neck and along my jaw. He traced the side of my face up to my cheek, then blotted the tears that spilled from my eyes with his thumb. He ran his thumb over my lower lip. I licked it and tasted salt.
I closed my eyes then and he removed his fingers. When I opened them again he had gone back to the easel and taken up his palette.
I sat n my chair and gazed at him over my shoulder. My ear was burning, the weight of the pearl pulling at the lobe. I could not think of anything but his fingers on my neck, his thumb on my lips.
He looked at me but did not begin to paint. I wondered what he was thinking.
Finally he reached behind him again. "You must wear the other one as well," he declared, icking up the second earring and holding it out to me.
For a moment I could not speak. I wanted him to think of me, not the painting.
"Why?" finally answered. "It can't be seen in the painting."
"You must wear both," he insisted. "It is a farce to wear only one.
"But - my other ear is not pierced," I faltered.
"Then you must tend to it." He continued to hold it out.
I reached over and took it. I did it for him. I got out my needle and clove oil and pierced my ther ear. I did noy cry, nor faint, or make a sound. Then I sat all morning and he painted the earring he could not see, and I felt, the stinging like fire in my other ear, the pearl he could not see.
The clothes soaked in the kitchen went cold, the water grey. Tanneke clattered in the kitchen, the girls shouted outside, and we behind our closed door sat and looked at each other. And he painted.

-Girl With A Pearl Earring
Tracy Chevalier

beautiful book.

it wasnt enough.

2005-07-11T20:37:00.000-07:00

it wasnt enough is playing.

haha. good time for a gc song to be playing. since their concert's tomorrow!!!=)

haha. i know so many people so so excited by da thought of tml even happening. and they are so not gonna be able to get any sleep tonite. haha. my dearest girl. haha. i realli beleive you'll do exactly as i predict when you see them. no shouting. no screaming. no acting like a totally looney balooney. wadeva. just tears of joy. of love. of truth. of freedom. of an overwhelming sense of home. i know dats how much and more they mean to you. enjoy girlie~

I will try to believe in the things
I cannot see
But my faith is shaking now like it's never been before
When I call
And you don't come
I don't know what I should do
Should I call?
Should I even count on you?

[Chorus:]
I'm giving all I can
It wasn't enough
To keep you in my hands
Should I give up?
I try to understand
Was it ever enough?
I don't understand
So here I am once again
With my back against the wall
Afraid to show you
Afraid to tell you I don't know you like I did
I've never been so alone
I've never felt so insecure
And now I don't know where I'm going
In my life
I'm not so sure

you sent me these lyrics so long ago. i finally found da tune dat carried it. emotions. funnie thing huh? =)

i ran today. finally. im sucha procrastinator i haven run since napha! dats realli long. ran ubber slowly towards da end esp. failing stamina. but yar. im just so happie i ran. 7 rounds!=) and i played tennis today! gonna play again tml! haha. was standing at da second level watching yan teach her class. actually i was laughing at her. so mean rite. but haha. she couldnt stop laughing either. but yar. im probably gonna be as lost as her tml. maybe not so much. cuz ive got my class wif me. but yar. to a certain extent, im sure im gonna feel lost.

we started out so badly! haha. high high balls flying al over da place. and den it started raining! which totally foiled our plans of staying for at least half an hour of da gals trg. we didnt even get to say hi to coach. and yan dat meanie. she conducted da physical for da jrs. wierd. brought bac so many memories of our last trg when yar, so anticlimax. it had to rain. so we had physical. i still remb.

miss it so much. but yup. miss tennis week is already over.

THE day tml. math. geog? and most prob lit. fears dat are totaly NOT unfounded eating away wats left of me. i forget who i am sometimes. forget how to act like me sometimes. oh well. i am wierd. and i haf issues.

haf fun all those going for gc's concert.

im off for now.

'..dancing away thru this rain..'

heart of glass.

2005-07-09T11:03:00.000-07:00

qi li xiang is playing.

qi li xiang

2005-07-08T20:51:00.001-07:00

qi li xiang is playing.

haha. i guess ts been just about 2 months since i last updated this little bloggie of mine. i just had nothing to tell da world i guess.

but much has hapened. much is still happening. i dun like using da word much like this.

oh well. its miss tennis week this week. and once again lionel, it is not cool dat ive concocted a term for it. miserable's more da word cuz ive somehow managed to contain all of it. characterise all of it. wadeva. im not sure wats da correct term. but i miss it so much. so so much.

mr chen's burfdae todae. and yay! da seniors came back and threw him a sorta suprise burfdae partie. diana came back!!=) i wish my no. 11 was out. but realli, things alwayz feel dat tiny bit better when da seniors are around. still wish my no.11 was out.

"to conquer fear, you must be fear itself." dats was bruce wayne said in batman begins. set me thinking about so many many things dat im afraid of. so many things i need to conquer, so many things dat either ve never seen da need to conquer, or ive never dared to conquer. so many things. and yes lionel. cockroaches and spiders are amongst them. those 2 ive never ever seen da need to conquer. but just for da record. i killed da yellow spider on my bag this morning. albeit da screaming and da trauma it caused me. i did it. all by myself. but yar. i was all alone in da house aniwae. no one could save me but myself.

i hate dat line. no one can save me but myself. second most hated actually. nothing can beat life goes on.

and da fear of falling. or failing. of regrets. wat about dat huh. how'd you deal wif dat.

my quest to become a believer.

"And then I saw her face
Now I'm a believer
Not a trace
Of doubt in my mind
I'm in love
I'm a believer
I couldn't leave her
If I tried"
-smash mouth, im a believer=)

haha.

emotional unstableness. well, i just found out my horoscope in life! had already redicted a prettie emotional day (week) for me. it even listed out options for me to choose as to how i wanted to deal wif my (overwhelming) emotions.

oh goodness. i just watched da episode of friends whereby joey told rachel dat he thought he was falling in love with her. so sad/sweet.. i love friends.

haha. it dosen matter if anyone reading this cannot pick up on da things ive said. its bits and pieces of a letter i wrote to someone.

"why do we fall down bruce? so dat we can learn how to pick ourselves up." *and den da dad (and alfred later on) smiles. batman begins was sucha good show. i cant wait for da sequel.

randomness.

and oh. did i mention how much i ove watching oc and one tree hill? i just wish they wouldnt censor all da parts on homosexuality. which is starting to take up a lot of parts at da moment. in oc especially. it ended 11 minutes earlier ok. so interesting.

i miss my dearest. she got an A for her math!! 74! super duper duper power. love her so so much=)

and oh i tried da kaya roti from macs this morning wif my darling. it wasnt so bad. like having a kaya burger (simply visualised as replacing da chicken in a chicken burger wif kaya=)

qi li xiang is still playing.

goodbye for now.

anything to indulge my moods.

2005-04-19T11:37:00.000-07:00

some sad sad malay song is playing now. suhaila and liza are singing along to it. anything to indulge my moods rite.

felling so fucked up rit now. not to be able to run. not to be abe to walk. not being able to play your favourite sportdat must be. and probably is one of da most helpless feelings in da world.

ive known so many people to have had to gone thu such shit. been thru it myself. to feel so restricted on court. indecisive as to whether you should just go al out during dat particular trg, or preserve yourself for tournament da following day. to walk, when all da rest of da bloody pe cohourt is running, on da track. to want to take part in track and field meet but be sure whether your legs will carry you thru. to want to take part in 'a' div so so bad but not without da fear in you dats holding you back cuz you know you might not be da best choice for your beloved team.

da tearss. da pain. da trembles. da helplessness. da frustrations. unthinkable. unbearable.

and now my dearest sam and hy. ive not fully survived da shit yet. but you guyz haf got it alot worse den i haf. i know you guyz are taking good care. so be strong k. creams. sprays. surgery. be it at badminton or tennis. their our toppest priorities at da moment. we'll pull thru.

~i want to run again. i want to play again.

after so long.

2005-03-14T20:44:00.000-08:00

mockingbird is playing.

purple_

so many words not so long ago,
rite now all's dried up
indescribable
unstable
overly emotional?
paint me purple

why..
distraughtly upset
unthinkable
it hurt so bad
double blows
my manutd..
bought a roller
gonna paint my room purple

bloody pissed
close to tears
i wish you came
it all turned out ok in da end
thank god
my team, my all.
i wish our courts were purple..

[mockingbird - eminem]

I know sometimes things may not always make sense to you right now
But hey, what daddy always tell you?
Straighten up little soldier
Stiffen up that upper lip
What you crying about?
You got me

Hailie I know you miss your mom and I know you miss your dad
When I'm gone but I'm trying to give you the life that I never had
I can see you're sad, even when you smile, even when you laughI can see it in your eyes, deep inside you want to cry
Cuz you're scared, I ain't there?
Daddy's with you in your prayers
No more crying, wipe them tears
Daddy's here, no more nightmares
We gon' pull together through it, we gon' do it
Laney uncles crazy, aint he?
Yeah but he loves you girl and you better know it
We're all we got in this world
When it spins, when it swirls
When it whirls, when it twirls
Two little beautiful girls
Lookin' puzzled, in a dazeI know it's confusing you
Daddy's always on the move, mamma's always on the news
I try to keep you sheltered from it but somehow it seems
The harder that I try to do that, the more it backfires on me
All the things growing up his daddy that he had to see
Daddy don't want you to see but you see just as much as he did
We did not plan it to be this way, your mother and me
But things have gotten so bad between us
I don't see us ever being together ever again
Like we used to be when we was teenagers
But then of course everything always happens for a reason
I guess it was never meant to be
But it's just something we have no control over and that's what destiny is
But no more worries, rest your head and go to sleep
Maybe one day we'll wake up and this will all just be a dream

Now hush little baby, don't you cry
Everything's gonna be alright
Stiffen that upper lip up little lady, I told ya
Daddy's here to hold ya through the night
I know mommy's not here right now and we don't know why
We feel how we feel inside
It may seem a little crazy, pretty baby
But I promise momma's gon' be alright

It's funny
I remember back one year when daddy had no money
Mommy wrapped the Christmas presents up
And stuck 'em under the tree and said some of 'em were from me
Cuz daddy couldn't buy 'em
I'll never forget that Christmas I sat up the whole night crying
Cuz daddy felt like a bum, see daddy had a job
But his job was to keep the food on the table for you and mom
And at the time every house that we lived in
Either kept getting broke into and robbed
Or shot up on the block and your mom was saving money for you in a jar
Tryna start a piggy bank for you so you could go to college
Almost had a thousand dollars till someone broke in and stole it
And I know it hurt so bad it broke your momma's heart
And it seemed like everything was just startin' to fall apart
Mom and dad was arguin' a lot so momma moved back
On the Chalmers in the flat one bedroom apartment
And dad moved back to the other side of 8 Mile on Novara
And that's when daddy went to California with his CD and met Dr. Dre
And flew you and momma out to see me
But daddy had to work, you and momma had to leave me
Then you started seeing daddy on the T.V. and momma didn't like it
And you and Laney were to young to understand it
Papa was a rollin' stone, momma developed a habit
And it all happened too fast for either one of us to grab it
I'm just sorry you were there and had to witness it first hand
Cuz all I ever wanted to do was just make you proud
Now I'm sittin in this empty house, just reminiscing
Lookin' at your baby pictures, it just trips me out
To see how much you both have grown, it's almost like you're sisters now
Wow, guess you pretty much are and daddy's still here
Laney I'm talkin' to you too, daddy's still here
I like the sound of that, yeah
It's got a ring to it don't it?
Shh, momma's only gone for the moment

Now hush little baby, don't you cry
Everything's gonna be alright
Stiffen that upper lip up little lady, I told ya
Daddy's here to hold ya through the night
I know mommy's not here right now and we don't know why
We feel how we feel inside
It may seem a little crazy, pretty baby
But I promise momma's gon' be alright

And if you ask me too
Daddy's gonna buy you a mockingbird
I'mma give you the world
I'mma buy a diamond ring for you
I'mma sing for youI'll do anything for you to see you smile
And if that mockingbird don't sing and that ring don't shine
I'mma break that birdies neck
I'd go back to the jewler who sold it to ya
And make him eat every carat don't fuck with dad (haha)

'..life is beautiful. today isnt fucked up till i say so..'

prata wif da rest.

2005-02-28T23:20:00.000-08:00

sometimes when we touch is playing.

ive been living in my own little world in recent days. i need my alone time.

something interesting. volleying gets me da happiest on court. its da ultimate feeling of accomplishment. da ultimate highness. i can feel when im on court. and wat happens when. you know you're mistake. but yet somehow, no matter how hard you seem to be pushing your mind, your actions just dun follw. i missed countless sitters today. and i got realli disappointed wif myself. cuz why. i was doing realli well wif da tougher shots. but when da sitters came. i just lost it. and i think qing could see it.

stupid above paragraph dat made completely no sense at all..

im feeling so mellow rite now. is dat even da correct spelling? like just da slightest thing dat happens rite now can make me cry. i want da greatest love of all cd. it has everything in it..

i feel like crying. not outta sadness. not outta depression realli. but just cause i feel like it. watching 'someone like you' realli set me off on sat. it was such a lovely show. and haha caroline, another name to add to your list of hunks. *caroline JACKMAN.. everyone can see just how well dat flows rite? heh..

i felt so funnie in school today. was it cuz my little j1s were getting back their results? im sure it played apart. thank god for econs lect first period every monday. i went to da hall wif carol and shushu to watch da slides da school had prepared for da j1s. and seriously, i was close to tears. and den i just went on a hugging rampage. whoever i met, i just hugged. my wonderful og. my wonderful jr class. stupid eye candy had only to appear after i left lah. but my og.. we just somehow all MET in da middle of da hall. you guys haf played such a sprcial role in my life im so grateful to haf come to know you'll..

jolynn. its ok yar gal. and i realli know how it feels, but comparing is realli of no use at da moment. vic, my and alot of others' eternal nice guy, im sure youi'll get accepted. kx. i think i need you to stay. appeal appeal appeal until you get in k. castor needs pple like you. yj, larry, kai jia, sweedy, i know you guyz pulled thru prettie well. congrats my dears. and to da rest of you'll, i haf just da greatest faith in you guyz. may you'll get into da jc of your choice. *im gonna be missing you guyz like crazie man..

back to da i felt so funnie in school part. other contributing factors? overload of infomation regarding some stuff maybe. thank you lord, for caroline.

i had 5 free periods in scool today know. not too good. but i realli cant decide which is worse. having wayyy too many free periods (esp during times when your mind seems to wander endlessly), or not having ANY free periods. i.e. i cant decided whether today (5 free periods), or tml (NO free periods) is gonna be worse.

last, or one of da last ontributing factors. i think i realli screwed up my geog test. i HAF to go for onsultation. dats realli realli sad. =(

hurdles was wayy fun today. rite liza? only da 2 of us seem to be enjoying pe these few weeks. and den it kinda started drizzling. and i almost started to cry. cuz dat'd haf meant dat trg wif da guyz would not be possible today. thank you lord for loving me da most! haha. you love lionel just as much as me too! it stopped. da feelings somwhow had changed. but da familarity of having them ard. da clicking of our rackies. da slapping of hands. da teasings. da knowing looks. regarding CERTAIN pple. or da ones which read, you can do it. c'mon. da next round's gonna be better.. da way 5,4,3,2,1 was made so fun! haha..

i love you guyz so damn much. and dinner.. =)

my tennis pple. you guyz make up so much of my world. thank you so much for everything. EVERYTHING.. all da ups and all da downs. im staking claim of title of in-hse counsellor forever man. its MINE MINE MINE!! =)

and thank you dear. for da rose, and da earrings. you make me feel so loved.

moomoo.. hy has taken to calling you dat too. heh.. you can ok.

you.CAN.do.it.

im tired. and feeling absolutele horrible and scared and angry at myself cuz of my studies. and oh-so. and tired. but somehow. happie, or is da word 'blissful'?, cuz of da presence of da so many pple who haf touched my heart in my life.

hugely ironic. yet if you think abt it. as rickson already mentioned in his blog, you need all da scary and shitty and ugly stuff present in your life in order to appreciate da gentleness and sensitivity and care dats showered upon you. haha. dats so true, but it kinda has no relation to wat im saying rite..

random thoughts? im in my owm little self-created world remb?

nite nite. =)

opening ceremony.

2005-02-25T10:08:00.000-08:00

hold on is playing.

hmm. we lost. =(

highly irritating cuz there was onli 12 mins of da game left to hold on. i still love you carroll. and no matter wat yj says, you are definitely alot better den dudek. nobody beats dudek.

ankle's alot better now. i can walk prettie normaly. its just da going down da stairs part dat is abit of a problem. oh wadeva. im still going out today. :)

happiest piece of news!!!! we get to train wif da guys on monday!! we get to train wif da guys on monday!! we get to train wif da guyz on monday!!

O level results coming out
= NO j1s!!
= too little j2 gals
.'. we get da j2 guys to join# (explained)

wat a perfect equation! hahaha.. im so happie. it'll be juz like old times.. x)

'.. crazy manjan lah you..'

crrraaccck.

2005-02-23T19:30:00.000-08:00

i believe is playing.

ok. frenly against tkgs. won da first. second one trailing 3-1. stupid shit man.

but its not counted. we're still unbeatable in frenlies. its all da stupid bell's fault.

rite?

and oh. it just went crrraaaccck.

wat perfect timing. they're going ice skating tml.

damn.

i love yakun toast! and one day. one bloody fine day. i will finish eating an ENTIRE bowl of ban mian by myself. stomachs which onli allow to eat 1/3 of da bloody bowls are juz considered pathetic.

i.e. i haf a pathetic stomach.

goodbye.

*manutd vs ac later.. =)

my today. post 100.

2005-02-21T21:11:00.000-08:00

one in a million is playing.

my 100th post. =)

sitting here. eating banana nut crunch. wishing so bad there was fresh milk at home.

i was looking forward to today over da weekend.

and it didnt disappoint. =)

finally finished reading angels and demons. its a wonderful book. so very very sad at da end i tell you. i cried.

and carol's purple piggie piggie bank. =)

and my tennis pple. thank you for making me feel so very loved. =)

and qing. heh. sorrie lah. i know im a very demanding co-pilot. but thanks yar. i realli appreciate all da rides home.. *ryan cabrera.. =)

'.. paint me purple..'

post 99. wynken, blynken, and nod.

2005-02-09T23:08:00.000-08:00

you make me wanna is playing.

nth much realli. first day of da cny hols. went visiting. eat eat eat.

next week confirm must go on diet.

anyhows. i watched dennis da menace just now.. and mrs wilson read this poem out to dennis before he slept..

[wymken, blynken, and nod]

wynken, blynken, and nod one night
sailed off in a wooden shoe,
sailed on a river of crystal light,
into a sea of dew.
"where are you going,
and wat do you wish?"
the old moon asked da three.
"we haf come to fish for da herring fish
dat live in this beautiful sea-
nets of silver and gold haf we!"
said wynken, blynken, and nod.

da old moon laughed and sang a song,
as they rocked in da wooden shoe,
and da wind dat sped them
all night long
ruffled da waves of dew.
da little stars were da herring fish
dat lived in dat beautiful sea.
"now cast your nets whereever you wish,
never afeard are we!"
so cried da stars to
da fishermen three:
wynken, blynken, and nod.

all night long their nets they threw
to da stars in
da twinkling foam,
den down from da skies
came da wooden shoe,
bringing da fishermen home.
't was all so prettie a sail it seemed
as if it could not be,
and some folks thought 't was
a dream they'd dreamed
of sailing dat beautiful sea,
but i shall name you
da fishermen three:
wynken, blynken, and nod.

wynken and blynken are two little eyes,
and nod is a little head,
and da wooden shoe dat sailed da skies
is a wee one's little bed.
so shut your eyes while mother sings
of wonderful sights dat be
and you shall see da beautiful things
as you rock in da misty sea,
where da old shoe rocked
the fishermen three:
wynken, blynken, and nod.

i love poems. poems are good. they get me all smiley. esp ones involving stars..

sam dearest. coffee bean wif you was realli nice. and my darling. i love you too. we must go back to dat taiwan eatery place again k. cuz im craving da braised pork rice already. haha..

hy and leonard. haha. i love you guys. we should haf more 'team' dinners man. we'll go back there and haf tau suan again soon k. haha..

'.. frenz till da end ..'

its time.

2005-02-06T13:34:00.000-08:00

da song from shahrul's blog is playing.

my very first feb post. its been abt a week.

loonnng loooonnnng week.

STAYING happie. 'staying' being da key word. im still trying..

hui ying. thank god ive had you. and my rc cd.

fuck everything else.

'..So much beauty in life
Shining on the outside
Empty on the inside
I get lost sometimes..'

*i love you. =)

'.. go ahead. make.my.day. ..''

my happie day.

2005-01-31T21:48:00.000-08:00

when i dream at night is playing.

real nice song by marc anthony dat i just found out i had all along in my playlist.

wow. i just came back from trg. prettie tough day we all had wif qing today. 2 sets of da 4-ball drill. and den launches. 6 lengths of da bball+vball court. ugh. totally sucked. but it juz felt soo good after i had completed it. *i keep stretching. cuz im so scared i'll be paralysed in bed tml.* =)

today was my happie day. started off great. and im proud to say i managed to keep it at a high even at da end.

woke up think of PHOBOS winning da gals championship and of us winning da overall championship as well. wierd huh. but it realli put a smile on my lips. a skip to my every step. den my dearest dropped me a good morning msg! haha. *smileyz!* and den i was off meeting my darling castor 3 for breakfast. *macs hotcakes!* haha. they totally rock my world.

and den there was da NUMEROUS pictures of giggs. keano. scholes and da neville brothers in the TODAY paper. *we playing da gooners 355 wed morning. cant wait man!!!* haha. and den our sad sad parting outside LT4. *waves!* =) and den school. which so wonderfully started out wif a free period cuz da rest of da class had econs lect. msged all my castor 3 darlings. and den finally. my first lesson of da day. geog lect. and den lit lect we watched movie, Brazil! *tml morning must wakie early just to watch da next 1hr of it. but yayness! no loong loong boring lects on UTOPIA. ugh.* haha. math tut was ok. and lunch and geog lect was ok. ok in da sense dat it didnt get to me. it didnt feel broing. neither did it feel unbearable. and dats good. i wish everyday could be like today. den 2 more free periods before pe. mondays are so super slackie days man. pe had to do long jump. but it didnt turn out as bad as i'd expected it to be.

and den pre-trg! went track-pple visiting as usual. haha. *seanie. tian wei..* :) and finally trg! was prettie tough as ive mentioned earlier. almost broke. but thankfully somehow managed to pull thru. TOM was out there. proud of you hy! :) larry msged abt his ogl interview. and wat he msged meant so much. and all da way home in qing's van, he put ryan cabrera's 'true' on repeat just for me! :)

and den now. im at home. and im happie. still got certain stuffs on my mind dat can totally exhaust me mentally at times. but still happie. contented.

i love you my castor 3. i love meeting you guys ard da corners of ad school. and my dearest. you've never failed to make me smile. and my darling. thank you for your hug! haha. and yanyan for specially buying my fave kueh-kueh for me! :) my tennis pple. you guys know who you are. i love you all so much..

its alwaez da little little things dat matter most. alwaez. god's blessings for us dat come in the most simpliest of forms. and its sucha a wonderful feeling to know da pple dat you love and care abt so much. love and care abt you just as much as you do for them.

thank you lord. i feel so very very blessed.. =)

now this song, ive realli gotta share..

[marc anthony - when i dream at nite]

I have been in love
and been alone
I have traveled over many miles
to find a homethere's that little place
inside of me
that I never thought could
take control of everything
but now I just spend all my timewith anyone
who makes me feel
the way she does

'Cause I only feel alive
when I dream at night
even though she's not realit's all right
'cause I only feel alive
when I dream at night
every move that she makes
holds my eyes
and I fall for her every time

I've so many things I want to say
I'll be ready when
the perfect moment
comes my wayI had never known
what's right for me
'til the night
she opened up my heart
and set it free
But now I just spend all my time
with anyonewho makes me feel
the way she does

'Cause I only feel alive
when I dream at night
even though she's not real
it's all right
'cause I only feel alive
when I dream at night
every move that she makes
holds my eyes
and I fall for her every time

Now I just spend all my time
with anyone
who makes me feel
the way she does

'Cause I only feel alive
when I dream at night
even though she's not real
it's all right
'cause I only feel alive
when I dream at night
every move that she makes
holds my eyes
and I fall for her every time

'.. my pride and joy. my one and only. my castor 3..'

**sth very interesting to note: todays jan 31. means ONE whole month of 2005 has already gone by. kida scary. and abit too fast for my liking..

3rd annual road race.

2005-01-29T16:07:00.000-08:00

i wun forget you is playing.

just got home from eating prawn mee noodle soup. i cant remb in which order it is lah. aniwae my uncle took us out to lunch. im so sorrie hy. i realli wanted us to go eat yong tau fu at tamp.. sorrie sorrie sorrie!!

yest was an extremely eventful day..

3rd annual road race yest at bedok reservoir. my second most shittiest race ever. got 7th. was realli realli dissapointed. but a whole lot of events and pple after da stupid race realli realli made it all better..

we came in first!! we came in first!!! oh man oh man oh man!!! out of da top 20 spots for da gals. practically ALL were from phobos. with da exception of a few lah. like 10th which went to jolynn!!!! *my og my og!!! haha. totally embarrssed myself by screaming too early in front of da entire school lah. but im so proud of you dear. she's from callisto!*. and constance was top 20 too. from miranda. *you rock gal. well done!* and shahirah!!! she was 3rd!!! *woohoo~* haha. she's from miranda too i think. not too sure. da rest were all PHOBOS!!! you should haf heard us cheering man. it realli wasnt dat many pple cheering. i think maybe onli my class pple. but we were freakin loud!! and haha. we were standing atop da tree roots frantically waving our PHOBOS flags!!! so so so happie man. its times like these dat i get just so high. almost like orientation! *CASTOR!!!* haha. i love PHOBOS!!!

meera you wonderful darling!! you came in 15th!!! so so so proud of you gal. even with your slight breathing problem. you TOTALLY ROCK. liza. i realli couldnt be PROUDER of anyone else. 66th onli cuz of your stupig stich which came at da worse possible time ever. if not you'd surely haf been up there wif da best. so dun ever for one moment belittle your running ability yar. but more importantly. you led us to da CHAMPIONSHIP gal. da ultimate most highest toppest achievement possible. not onli were we da gals champion. we were da OVERALL CHAMPION. and dats a huge huge feat seeing dat last year had been completely dominated by callisto!!! *super tite huggz!!!!* ahhh!!!!! i love you liza!!!! hahahahaha... x)

joan joan. my darling joan. you did well k. ran well and all. now just throw everything you haf during da nationals. you can do it. ive got a hell lot of faith in you. love ya! *super tite huggz!*

and my yanyan!!! you came in 33th!!! dats so so wonderful my dear gal. im so happie for you. huge huge huge huge improvement from last year!! *huggiez!!* and hy and szeech!! and chong!! hahah. 58th. 62th and 74th respectively. so proud of you'll too. carol and tracy. 301th and 302th. had a fun time walking eh. hahaha. but i still love you guyz! *huggz!!* :)

and my OG!!! jolynn my gal you did us so so proud man. 10th!! and still say you cannot run. im so happie for you. and just so so proud of you. yj. 176th rite. sigh. walking very fun hor. waste of talents onli. next yr you and tian wei better make top 20 man. and KX! 162th i think. not bad wat. still say wat cannot run. you ran faster den yj lah. ;) and tian wei. next year top 10 i treat you. dun sad k. im sure you'd rather haf a fully recovered ankle den to be limping abt for da rest of 1st 3 mths. but haha. i still smile when i think abt you telling us how everyone else was stunned when you cheong-ed da last few hundred meters to ad finishing line. next year k. you'll get your moment of glory! :) vic! i dun remb your position sorrie. but thanks so much for being there to support me up when i finished running. i almost wanted to peng lah. realli realli grateful for you holding me up den!! and kai jia. you too dun be sad k. crappie ankle all cuz of da stupid grass. your moment of glory will come next year. and as for da rest of you'll. my brain was unfortunately unable to recall your positions. but congrats on completing your very first mj road race! :)

and den we went out for dinner at tamp!! 3rd (informal) OG outing!! :)

haha. me. KX. yj. vic. kai jia. hou ying. jerreme. sonja. jolynn. sweedy. her fren, priscilla. we decided to go tamp. and i and jolynn and sonja ended up ating yong tau fu. which turned out to be realli realli yummie, and thus me wanting to haf it again wif hy again today. *sorrie gal!!* back to my darlings. i cant put all we talked/joked/laughed/gossiped abt in words. but it was so fun. and we got da most special most comfortable seats in da food court some more. haha. so nice for sleeping man. haha. and at da end all of us were like just lounging ard/on it. and da happie happie piece of news kai jia shared wif us. she was like almost hysterical lah. and hou ying and her crocodile comment *haha!* and yj wif his you-want-me-to-look-like-idiot-izzit?-everytime-also-smile! comment. hahahaha. vic and his attitude!!-thingy. and KX as usual. looking so so cute all dopey-eyed and all cuz of his tiredness. haha. and den we took pictures!! so fun! haha. and den!! we went tovisit someone's SPECIAL SOMEONE at fila!! hahaha. she's so prettie. haha. and her complexion is i think realli better den yj's. haha. you guyz look so sweet tog! haha. finally after much consideration and deliberations outside burger king, amongst them which were inclusive of going either jolynn or my place or going to play pool, we all finally decided to go home. *yay!!* thank goodness man. i was so freakin tired. and so were jolynn and KX. haha.

on a more serious note, there are some pple ive realli gotta say thank you too. and to those same pple, ive gotta say sorrie as well..

to my og: i wanted to tell this to you guyz last night. but im sorrie i just didnt know how to. thank you thank you so so much. i appreantly got pushed or elbowed or wadeva shit near fa finishing line. i didnt think it was sucha a big deal den. and i still dun think its sucha big deal now. but your reactions. it realli touched me. all your 'are you ok?'s. all your 'my cg wanted to beat dat gal up lah. wah lau...' it realli meant alot to me knowing dat you guys cared. you guys knew i was dissapointed. a few of you maybe even saw my tears. but you kept da situation normal. you kept smiling at me cuz you guyz knew i'd confirm smile back. thank you. thank you for dat pretence. i realli needed it. cuz i realli couldnt bring myself to face da rest yest. and da dinner. it made me feel so so much better. your laughter. your smiles. your utter lameness. every moment spent with you'll is just pure bliss. its just so simple. cuz you guyz haf this ability to make me forget everything else. i wouldnt. couldnt realli. haf made da past few weeks without you guyz. and im ever so grateful for all your presence in my life. castor 3 forever yea. i love you guys loads. *super duper tite group hug*

to yanyan: im sorrie for disappointing you. realli realli. and thanks for walking all over da place just so you could pass me a cup of milo. and thank you for going walk walk wif me after dat. i'll never find another bestie like you. and you ran so well gal. so so proud of you. you didnt even stop!! well done! *super tite huggz!* :)

to chong and salvin: haha. chong lee you are just so nice. thank you for going walk walk wif me too. and being so ever-willing to walk anywhere i wanted. and salvin. you were freakin sweet yest lah. haha. but at dat moment i just couldnt bask in it. cuz each time you said it was ok or you were proud of me. i just felt even worse. and da do-you-wanna-kiss-offer is NEVER GONNA WORK dude. get over yourself already. *sticks out tongue* but seriously, thanks again you two. :)

liza/meera/carol/tracy/shiyun: thank you. just thank you for being there. i dunno wat else to say.

to my class: im sorrie i dissapointed you guyz. dun tell me not to say it k. cuz i want to. i haf to. and sorrie if i avoided everybody yest. i didnt know how to face up to you'll. facing you'll also meant facing me. and i realli didnt know how to..

to my tennis pple. im sorrie too. you guyz too. dun tell me not to say it. cuz i want to. i haf too as well. esp moo. i guess we're gonna hafta bet on sth else huh.. no more top5..

to all da rest of my frenz: thank you for sticking up for me. but it realli dosent matter. so more importantly. thank you for your congrajulatories. your 'pats on my back'. for your huggz and for your smiles. it meant a hell lot to me. and dun worrie abt me anymore. i'll get over it. but rite now. i cant imagine myself running ever again though. another one of predictions of da BigFive profile coming true - easily discouraged. and another thing. dat was, pathetically, my first trip to bedok reservoir, my first run there, which sadly, im not too sure if its da correct word to use,
but yar, which SADLY will be my last. for long long time to come aniwae..

there's still another bit of da day i wanted to write abt. my 4th eye candy cum angel&mortal game. but dats just gonna haf to wait.

im done for da day.

peace out.

national under-17.

2005-01-27T20:59:00.000-08:00

i believe is playing.

i hate chelsea. argh!

my darling scored. '67. 5th goal of da season.

giggs rocks.

i dun even know why im writing in sucha format. it looks so bloody ugly.

road race tml. scary shit man.

but yea wadever. i'm forever saying i dun wanna run. but once i start i cant stop.

4-0 down to da national under-17 squad.

hewy to play roddick in da semis.

ugh. i need paragraphs man.

mj tennis rocks.

'.. fahrenheit 911 can get extremely painful to watch..'

newly appointed in-hse counsillor.

2005-01-26T22:28:00.000-08:00

its all about you is playing.

life just takes on a whole different meaning when things like these happen.

its so much to take it dat after a while. your mind just starts blanking out.

its times like these when you turn to your god. but its also in times like these dat you start questioning all dat has happened. all dat is happening. all dat is going to happen.

we just sat in da canteen today and cried. cried about all da wrongness. cried abt all da grievences to do with our family lives.

cried abt all da things we're not supposed to be doing. but still continue to do.

family is just so so important.

you haf no idea. nth else matters once family comes into da picture.

newly appointed in-hse councillor just dropping by to tell you'll much much i care.

trust me my dears. i can take it. its da not knowing dat i cant take.

you'll haf no idea how much da 8 of you'll mean to me.

i dun feel da same anymore.

stay strong my dears.

*super super tite huggz!*

i love my castor 3.

'.. live each day as if dat day were to be a representation of your ENTIRE life on earth..'

post 93.rite here waiting.

2005-01-25T20:32:00.000-08:00

rite here waiting is playing.

i hate all dat im doing now.

no actually i hate all dat im not doing now.

i hate da direction in which my life is moving in.

i cant fucking focus.

they make me so so happie.

overly cow-jump-over-da-moon happie.

prioritize gal.

prioritize.

the little prince.

2005-01-23T20:19:00.000-08:00

i wun forget you is playing.

'da stars men follow haf different meanings.
for some people - travellers,
da stars are guides.
for others they are merely little lights in da sky.
for others still - da scientists,
they are problems to be solved.
for my businessman they meant gold.
but for all these people,
da stars are silent.
for you,
da stars will be as they are for no one else.

at night, when you look up at da sky,
since i shall be living on a star,
and since i shall be laughing on a star,
for you it will be as if all da stars are laughing.
you alone will haf stars dat can laugh!'

- the little prince

imagine dat. da entire galaxy. da kings of da past? looking down. constantly watching over. laughing away softly. with you. all five-hundred-and-one million, six-hundred-and-twenty-two thousand, seven-hundred-and-thirty-one of them sparkled jewels..

'.. twinkle twinkle little star..'

sentosa.2nd og outing.

2005-01-22T10:20:00.000-08:00

in my own time is playing.

2nd OG outing!! :)

i love my darling castor 3 pple! :):):)

harbour front [supposedly] at 10am. KX finding da person's fone. breakfast! *wanted to haf kaya toast and coffee. but guess wat. da stupid stall didnt haf bread lah. humph!* shutle bus. *da gossips had alreday started..* sentosa!!! :) soccer!! *guyz + TL. you all rocked man. won like wat 8-2? so wat if you'll looked tiny as compared to those ny pple. they tried to muscle their way thru. but we won hands down. wif skill. golden boot goes to YJ!! haha.* ;) vball. *haha. those dat didnt know how to play realli couldnt make it lah. hahah. * captain's ball!!! :):) pigging out. *joyce!!!* pictures. pictures and more pictures!! :) tian wei and jerreme dancing mambo for all da rest of sentosa to see. and we were located like directly in front of ad monorail station lah. haha! sonja doing her britney-toxic! *haha. not-so-secret admirer taking picture after picture of her from da monorail itself* :) burying jerreme in da sand. wif F-cup!! playing monkey in da water. *all dat anti-clockwise movement kept making our circle get tinier and tinier lah* trying to get YJ to strip *he's so shy...hahahaha!!* pigging out again. captain's ball again. *foul lah. stupid vic is way too tall lah..* da fateful crash. *hope you guyz are feeling much much better now. and da swellings haf all gone down.* da long long round-abt-route we took to get to da bus stop. da blue line. dinner at da harbour front mall food court! dessert! all da horniness going ard da table. *horny bear. horny angel. horny angel 2. horney bird. hao lian. da jie da. R(A). britney. freankin horny lah those dumb dumbs..* pictures in da middle of da entrance to da mrt! *poor KX kept getting rejected by whoever he asked to help us take picture..* :( da train ride back.. *whao man. gossip gossip gossip...* ;)

i love my darling castor 3!!! x)

funfunfun. i love you guyz so much. its almost unbearable to think dat like in less den 2 mths. i might not get to see some of you'll again. we'll never break contact yea.

castor 3 forever and ever and ever.. :)

*.. just smile for me and let da day begin..*

my terrible week.

2005-01-20T23:57:00.000-08:00

every heart is playing.

com finally got repaired. stupid thing crashed last week..

this week came. and this week went. agonisingly painful. and i came. and went home each day.
never once attempting to make things allright between us. take da first step? i didnt want to at first. but after a while. my stance changed. i juz couldnt. didnt know how? didnt know when?
wat fucked up excuses. and now. for all da guilt/sorrow/helplessness im feeling. all i wish is for you to say. is its allright..

my class. :(:( 6-0. a new eye candy. 2-0. we BEAT liverpool 1-0!!!! :):):) 8mins. my darling castor 3 *you guyz. thank you for never failing me. a simple smile. a simple wave. dats all dats been kept me going this week.* 7-5. TOM. carol. my new tennis team *it'll never be able to match up to da one i haf now. NEVER. and my guyz. i miss trg wif you'll already!*:(:(:( toro guy. chao ah beng wif da yellow water bottle. east coast park!_cycling! :) MLTR. 28 tissue paper. honey. strepsils. hewy winning clement 6-3 6-4 6-1! :) hewy over-powering blake 4-6 7-6 6-0 6-3! :) my dearest. my darling! :)

my 3rd week at school. sentosa tml wif my darlings. yayness. realli realli looking forward to it..

*..im sorrie..*

tired.so so tired.

2005-01-12T20:41:00.000-08:00

true is playing.

it just keeps playing in my mind... :)

im so tired. so so tired..

came back not too long ago from some sort of trg. just match play realli. me+leo bt yan+hy 6-2!! :) den me+yan bt leo+hy 7-6 and den finally. me+hy bt leo+chifung 4-2!! ;) sounds like a realli good day huh..

cca recruitment day today. so many many pple signed up for tennis. im still hoping for da best though. at least 2nd round this year. must must must!!!

and amongst da happiest things dat happened today. da pictures i took wif my darling castor 3. haha. so nice! they totally rock man. all of them were swapping sec sch unis wif each other. tian wei and his SEXY SEXY tight tight pants. khee xiang wearing larry's pants! and jerreme wif his funky new design. tamp sec shirt wif siglap sec pants?!? wadeva lah. and all da gals still looking as great as they usually did. haha! im still so so in love wif all of them. still breaking out in untimely smiles during class. but hey. there's not many things in this world dat can actually cause you do break out in such untimely smiles are there. im gonna treasure all these moments! :)

still got a hell lot of other shitty stuff on my mind. tennis realli made it better. da wonders a tennis match can do..

to you: yea yea yea! we totally rock as partners!! haha. one of da bigger 'little blessings' rite. but when da night falls. and all things come rushing back. dat look in your eyes esp. it says it all. and i hurt for for you all over again. *huggz* i'll be here yea. love you alwaez.

zzz.. :(

post-orientation.2nd week of school.

2005-01-10T21:38:00.000-08:00

true is playing. im so totally in love wif this song.

aniwae. im suffering from major post-orientation depression. i want nth more den to wake up at 545 in da morning. get all panick all over again. worrying away if i had forgotten to bring my bag of identities or my ogl tee. i want nth more den to sit thru da morning briefing by da councillors. i want nth more to hear shahrul give us his motivational-speech for da day. i want nth more den to do our ogl CASTOR!!! cheer before each jam-packed yet so so fun-filled day. i want nth more den to take da attendence of my darling castor 3. to greet each one of them. and in turn be greeted by their cheery smiles. i want nth more den to tell them wat new identities we've got for them each morning.to fret abt whether we're gonna do well during da morning/afternn's planned activity..

i want nth more den to shout my throat hoarse. cherring war cry wif them. doing fever wif dat oioioh..-hothothot!-action cheer. i want nth more den to sing our castor song. i want nth more den to cheer our most famous fly-kite cheer. da clapping. da stamping.. i want nth more den to do da mass dances wif them. to go ard trying to pair all da potential couples up! *ahem..* i want nth more den to suffer doing da new couple dance wif kifa! [we suck so bad at it!]. i want nth more den to spend more more and more og time wif my castor 3. da teasings. da gossips. da scheming. da fun. da smiles. da joy. da laughter. i want nth more den to wait anxiously for da announcing for da placings of each hse at da end of each day. i want nth more den to busily running up and down da sch trying to get everything in place for our campfire. i want nth more.. den orientation all over again..

this is bad. i miss it so very very badly. da noise. da cheers. da atmosphere. da pple. da high-ness. da everything..

da minute i stepped into school this morning. i felt so free. so so happie. i saw so many so mnay castor ogls. they juz kept popping up everywhere! haha. and we juz couldnt stop beaming at each other. everything we felt on friday nite. its not sth dat can be so easilt forgotten. sheer bliss. exhileration. da adrenaline rush. da tears of joy. its gonna linger for a long long time to come. and each time i met one of my castor 3 pple along da corridor. and when xin le suddenly appeared out of nowhere and hugged me from behind in da canteen! oh man!! da feelings juz come flooding back. *super big smile!* haha. and watching them play bball in da courts today. i was juz contented sitting there and watching them. like a realli realli proud mother watching her little ones. im not implying dat im their mother or wat. but i am so proud of my castor 3. so very very proud of them. even carol noticed. she said,' ra, you're so lucky to haf them.. '

and my class pple kept telling me to stop smiling to myself for no apparent reason in da middle of lectures today. i realli didnt know whether to laugh or to cry. lucky i had meera wif me. we were like silently [i onli haf half my voice back] cheering during GP..

and as i sit here thinking abt tml. all da fils my mind is my castor 3. its as if i haf nth else to look forward to. dun i not haf so much so much more things to care abt. yes i do. of cuz i do. im j2 this yr. i haf so much so much to think abt. but thinking of them gets me da happiest. dats da onli explaination i can offer. my motivation! thank you my dears. my earth angels..

to you: im so sorrie for everything dat you haf to go thru. and im sorrie all i can do is listen and cry. i love you. and i'll alwaez be here. thank you for trusting me so much. *huggz*

to my dearest: sorrie ive neglected you cuz of my orientation. i miss you loads. i hope your knee's much much better. dnd your days haf been filled wif much much laughter. *super tite huggz!*

'..seeing is suffering.
keep your eyes shut.
all go to sleep now.
and nothing will hurt..'

castor has won da war.

2005-01-08T12:11:00.000-08:00

we are da champions is playing.

ogls: we're gonna win!

freshies: win like chamopions!!

ogls: we're gonna fight!

freshies: fight like champions

together: we're gonna win like champions

fight like champions

all da rest can go fly kite

sing song tune: fly kite fly kite

all da rest can go fly kite...x3

...

....

.....

....

...

ogls: we haf won!

freshies: won like champions!!

ogls: we haf fought!

freshies: fought like champions!!

together: we haf won like champions

fought like champions

all da rest haf gone fly kite

sing song tune: fly kite fly kite

all da rest haf gone fly kite...x3

castor has won da war!

AGAIN...!!!!!

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh....!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i love castor!!! x)

and my darling castor 3!! i love guys so so so so much!! you guys did brilliant. and your rain dance! power lah you'll! haha im so very very pround of you guyz!!

united we stand divided we fall

(echos)

castor 3 is da best of all

(echos)

we're one in da meart

echoes: one in da heart

we're one in da mind

echoes: one in da mind

we will we will rock you!

rock you!

we will we will rock you!

rock you!

thank you guys. for being da 'most scandalous. most kpo. most gossipy' group ard! for writing all our names on our caps. for your enthusiasm. for your initiative. thanks loads and loads of fun ans smiles and laughter you brought to us over this past week. khee xiang. thank you for piggy backing me all ard da assembly plaza! larry and juliana. we're still waiting for da kiss! and jerreme. all da best man! and thank you guyz for never once stop believing. 3rd-4th-4th-1st! wat a ride! love you guyz. you made our being your ogls so natural! and those who haf no voice like me. better faster go drink honey k. cya guyz monday! :)

special thanks also to kifa and wei sze and wee keat and yee ching! da most wonderful partners anyone could ask for! and da OGTs! and jia yan and guan zhen and kuok howe and shahrul and da rest of da castor ogls. not forgetting all da rest of you'll who were supporting us from da stands. *muackz!* haha! you guyz rock! yea we won we won we won we won!!! :)

wheeee...!!!!!!!!! haha! :)

tung ling.tian wei.sarah jane.li yin.vicnan.joyce.eunive.dione.kah mun.juliana.larry.sarah wong.shane.sweedy.kai jia.hou ying.yuan jun.alvan.yinghui.khee xiang.janice.hui sin.divya.jolynn.yung joon.jerreme.sonja.wei sze.kifa.rathika.wee keat.yee ching.mrs choong.mdm koh.

castor 3 forever and ever! :)

castor castor gonna beat you. castor gonna thrash you. castor gonna win. lalalalalalala. castor castor gonna beat you castor gonna thrash you castor gonna win..!!!

and yea yea yea!!! we did!!!!! :)

i still cant stop smiling. hee.

i love castor!!

*xin-fu smile!!* :)

'..we never stopped believing. and it paid off..'

first day of sch.2005.

2005-01-04T00:06:00.000-08:00

an jing is playing.

**da following post is not realli meant for public understanding. its just reflections on my part. :)

first day of sch. and there i was. getting into many many wierd conversations abt da topics of choosing between going to poly and jc. and also about da regrets of last year and all it brought along wif it.

izzit just me? or is everyone just talking abt da same thing. maybe its just an ogl thingy. seeing dat all we'll be dealing wif for da next week are gonna be da freshies who will no doubt start asking you abt your opinions of jc life. on poly life. on mjc life. on moving-on-from-sec-sch life..

part 1. do i regret coming to jc?

in actual fact, seeing dat i wanna be an interior designer when i grow up. my place should haf been founded in a poly. was it realli da so called 'fantasy island' dat one of my frenz put it across dat made me stay on? *'fantasy island' here refers to our most wonderfulest 1st 3mths experience spent here* honestly speaking. i guess in a way yes. but on da other hand. i never realli considered da option of going to poly. was i too (overly?) caught up wif da idea of going to jc since just about everyone around me was chossing dat path? was it cuz i being to dat percentage of pple who think da poly can never mtch up to jc. (i would highly disregard da above statement though..). or was ot cuz i trulie wanted to come to a jc. which makes absolutely no sense since my future job would need no requirements from jc.

hmmm. i think sth's happening to my brain. im not sure if im even making any sense here. and seeing dat i haf already landed myself into a point-of-no-return situation (As is 11 mths..). i better stop my myself from doing too much questioning..

moving on to part 2 of my days conversations. regrets about last year..

did i over-think certain situations? yes. lost a fren.. did i restraint da person i am inside in order not to get entangled up into unwanted trouble? on certain occassions im sure i must haf. did i not immerse fully into wadeva i was doing? im totally guilty of this. didnt study hard enough. and i'll alwaez remb my match against acjc. da one match dat caused me a clean sheet this yr.. and i wish we'd won best dressed for our hippie costumes on love meridian day i guess.. did i not enjoy to da max each and every waking moment i spent doing stuff wif da wonderful pple and some not-so wonderful pple ard me? when da feelings of exhileration came naturally. yes i did. but when it didnt. at least i tried? sometimes i just gave up and let myself wallow in self-misery though.. did i make new frenz? yes! :) and some frenships im bent on making them last a lifetime! did i try out new stuff? no one would haf expected me to become an ogl. or to take up a lerdership position.. cuz ive alwaez been da quiet one. da follower.. :p did i..break any hearts? haha. i think i did. ;) and lastly. did i spend too much time missing my sec sch life. my sec sch frenz? and in turn end up missing out on certain things? im extremely guilty of the missing my sec sch/frenz charge. but i dun feel no feelings of guilt watsoever towards this action. cuz dats who i was at dat time. and seriously. nth in da world could haf made me not miss them at dat point in time. and abt da missing out on certain things charge. like i said. nth in da world could haf stopped me from missing them during those points in time. but yar. i guess i would haf missed out on certain stuff. but i'll never know wun i. since i'll never actually get to know wat i missed out on.

da fren i was talking abt this did regret doing my final statement in da paragraph above. she regretted missing her sec sch life and her sec sch frenz too much. i think to da point of missing out on (alot of) stuff? im not dat sure. but i dun. its kinda like an unthinkable thought. not because im ashamed(cant find da rite word..) or anything liddat. but because its so far from da truth. i missed my sec sch den. i miss it now. and i think i'll alwaez miss it. da security. da atmosphere. da difference is unexplainable. undescribable. or maybe. one day i'll just find myself out of love wif my sec sch life and in love instead wif my jc life. this thought seems highly improbably at da moment. but who knows rite. onli this day. if it ever does come. will onli be after i leave college. and so da whole cycle begins again. vicious yea..

da freakin irony of life is so unfathomable sometimes it can get you so unbearably irritated!

finally for my conclusions.

to part 1: i guess my answer's gona haf to be no. i dun regret coming to jc. i still do feel this incredibly attractness to da courses in jc each time i read abt it. or each time i happen to see an exibition by those students during da open houses. but yea. i want to be at ease wif myself. so yup. no regrets! :)

to part 2: i do haf regrets. but they're not da kind dat had da power to destroy my life. i wish i'd studied harder. and thankfully. i still haf this year to make it all up to myself. i wish i hadnt frozen duing dat match. one of my life's greatest insults. and this year. im gonna make sure i dun. so yup. no regrets i cant make up for! :)

thank you to da two of you dat i had da following conversations wif. i haf been enlightened abt certain stuffs. i love you both very much! :)

and thank you my little brain. for finding da rite words my heart was trying to tell me. my priorities wouldnt haf seemed as clear if it hadnt been for you. :p

to da many many pple who made my today a very happie first day of school. thank you!! haha. ive missed your smiles. and huggs! and da times just spent hanging ard you guyz. and boy haf i missed all da activity gg on and noise ringing thru da canteen! haha. i hope, despite da lessons starting already, dat you guys had just as wonderful a first day of sch as i had! x)

and to my castor pple and my little freshies. da real orientation onli start tml. all da way yar. love you'll! :) castor rocks!! esp castor 3! :)

bye bye! :)

post 85.

2005-01-03T01:37:00.000-08:00

'love is' is playing.

2004..

it flashed by in da twinkle of an eye. but now thinking back on all dat has happened. there's just so much so much dat actually took place..

and try as i might. i cant put anything into words. i just cant..

to my loRd. thank you. for letting me live thru another year. i love you.

'for as da heavens are high above the earth,
so great is his mercy towards those who fear him.
as far as the east is from the west,
so far has he removed our transgressions from us.'
- psalms 103:11-12

to my dearest. i cant thank you enough for helping me get thru this year. your morning/nite greetings. your most-wonderful huggz! your 'jia yous' when you called just to sing me happie burfdae. i love you. and you're one person i couldnt live w/out. i hope 2005 brings to much much happiness and joy and smiles and earth angelz. *super tite huggz!*

to yanyan. despite all we've been thru. besties foreva yea. happie happie.. :)

to my darling. you've been extremely impt in my 2004 journey. i couldnt haf asked for a better gg to sch buddie. and i couldnt haf settled in properly w/out your presence. i love you. heehee. :)

to J,L,E. my very first frenz. and my most treasured. may things in your life alwaez go smoothly. and i'll alwaez remain da butterfly in your garden..

to my 1st 3mths pple. you guys were da reason i stayed on. i love you'll. and da memories we shared. i'll never ever forget. i couldnt. plus. i met da 3 of you'll in there. a301 underwater wold 4eva.. -rainbow fish :)

to my darling class. you guyz are an amazing bunch of pple. i realli dunno wat i'd haf done if i had been posted to another class. -flora :)

to my tennis pple. you guyz are da best. trg couldnt haf been made so fun w/out you guyz. haha. i already haf a future boss! and szeech. you better love my raZ properly k. haha! *muackz! * :)

to my castor pple!!! orientation is tml! we muz win da war again k.
*castor 2.mario.clare.snoWY.capri.yan.ra.pakkin* :)

to my eye candies. thank you. even if da smile you brought to my lips was just for those few mins. you managed to make a difference.

and to da rest of you who somehow or other played a aprt in my 2004. i thank you.

blessed blessed 2005!

-ra :)

seoul garden + pool

2004-12-24T00:01:00.000-08:00

kai bu liao kou is playing.

went out today.

supposed to haf alot alot alot of pple coming. but in da end. it was just da usual few of us. + haur shen! :)

ate seoul garden. odac pple were there too *ms caroline tan li shan!* ate and ate and ate. so funnie! 4 of us at one table. and sean and mich on da other. haha. after a while it was so funnie. dat stupid haur shen kept making it seem as if i was forcing him to eat his veg liddat. haha. and sufi and shu were crazie abt da red chicken. izzit realli sze chuan flavoured? and after a while. da new cook in da house. yong haur shen. started cooking his beef wif spring onions and garlic. haha. so me and sufi started aking wat we call beef fried rice. it was damn funnie lah. and it tasted good ok. just abit too salty. wat you expect. we used soya sauce soaked garlic! :)

and da highly interesting conversation we had abt some pple..

and oh! they haf a whole tub of atap chee for you to scoop from! oh my goodness. it was like a dream come true lah. haha. you know they alwaez give you two miserable ones when you order ice kacang rite. haha! i love atap chee.. *i sound so swah ku lah..*

den we went to play pool. wah lau. moo!! i need you to teach me all over again. i suck shit at pool. over da how-many-million times we played. carol and i only won ONCE. and dat was cuz sufi mistakenly hit da black ball in...

and how could i forget? ra/carol: 'cant you just pretend to hit wrongly?' haur shen: 'huh? this kind of ball also can hit wrongly?' carol: 'erm. can lor..' *i wonder who* hahahaha.. thing is. he realli purposely missed da ball! so sweet! :)

today confirmed my disgust towards mats. today i learnt sean has alreday finished 3 outta 4 of our geog assignment. i also learnt shu has almost finished her math sums. today i gave and in turn received christmas hugs from carol and sufi! today i once again got to see another side of haur shen. today i received a christmas prezzie from carol! today is da eve of christmas eve! and lastly. today.. was a day of much needed time spent wif my darlings.. :)

castor.

2004-12-23T00:23:00.000-08:00

kai bu liao kou is playing.

went back to school for castor stuff today..

finished da placards. well almost. its so prettie. and wei ying. i think its real nice. no matter wat you think. and da banner's almost done up too. left juz da sewing part. and da covering of all da unwanted splatters of paint.

i did a lot today. and obviously so did da rest.

but somehow.im unable to say. im unable to tell myself. 'ra. its ok. da tiredness. da wanting to cry moments because only 8 pple turned up to do da banner/placard stuff. and all those other mission seemingly impossible moments. you'll realise how all this is worth it at da end. you know you will..

dats how i survived 2ndO. i was so proud of castor. so so tired after each day. but ever so proud. and dun get me wrong. i still am. and i know in my heart i alwaez will. three orientations in da same orientation house. dats sth definitely to be proud of. and me being sucha emotional person. it means a hell lot. i could never imagine myself being in another orientation house. *yes yan. even if you get to take charge of da same og as my eye candy* i couldnt. dats me. as loyal as anyone could ever be. pure castorian for life..

and no i definitely dun think its a sign dat we'll not be able to retain our championship. cuz if anyone around has forgotten. we are leading da pack..

i juz think its sth to do wif me. im trying too hard to get lost in everything. but its not been working. im trying so so hard. i wanna get lost in doing little little stuff for my frenz. i wanna design my notice board. i wanna buy more interesting stuff from ikea to do up my room. i wanna paint my room dark purple. i wanna get lost in decorating my xmas tree. i wanna decorate da new photo frame my mu stile from school. i wanna get so tired out from all my castor stuff. i wanna go out and go out and go out..

i just dun wanna stay home. i dun wanna think abt my enormous pile of hw. i dun want da feeling of guilt to overwhelme me. i dun wanna keep thinking of how all these minutes i spent thinking abt my hw should actually be spent by me actually doing it. i dun want my mum nagging away at me. she's trying to get me to do some stupid research on da cold war and da atomic bomb and wat shit. i dun wanna miss having someone to miss..

im resisting reality. childish eh. and spoilt. and i know there's a whole string of words used to describe such pple. but i cant seem to remb them at da moment. but ain't it juz all so.. real? dats da sad part..

everybody i know has already started posting up their 2004 recaps. and here i am sighing my freakin life away. i think i told my sis a few days ago. 'shan. god. i juz feel like whining my life away.' there's juz too many things in life to whine abt. and sigh abt. and question. *sigh* see wat i mean? get a grip rara..

to my frenz out there. dun start getting all panicky k. i'll be fine after a while..

moomoo! ive missed you dude. dun forget my OT grass. haha! :)

sufi darling! i promise to hold your hand. and be your eyes for as long as it takes. dats abt 18 hrs i think. from now until tml evening when your new spects arrive! haha. cya tml! :)

and lastly to my darling class! yay! tml we're gonna haf class outing!. seoul garden finally.. :)

*sweet sweet dreamz*

'..bear wid us..'

smurfie! :)

2004-12-20T14:37:00.000-08:00

an jing is playing.

haha. i went after all. to watch his smurfie show. it was so funnie. stupid ass kept shaking his ass. and blowing kisses to everybody in da most un-girlie manner. haha. damn funnie lah.

went wif lionel and HY. da place was like flooded wif kids and parents and all. so unexpected. den after dat we found out they were holding some small little kiddy christmas singing competition as well. so we just stood on top of da bench there and watched. and laughed! met some of his class pple there too. ys justin they all. so pai seh lah. cuz we wanted to take picture wif him. didnt realise we had to go on stage in order to do so. and da picture had to include da host evelyn smurf and papa smurf as well. aiyo. all da small little kids lining up in front of us. den suddenly got 3 of us towering over them. so pai seh..

but it was fun lah. worth it. once in a life time experience. cant wait for da photos to be developed! :)

hmmm. manutd won!! and my darling was MOTM. so proud of him! thru out da entire match da commentator was just going on and on and on about him. 'and ryan giggs again..' 'clever pass by giggs..' haha! he was brilliant. created da scholes goal. and da oshea goal.. 5-2 thrashing of crystal palace! scholes darling scored too! twice! and keano my most beloved captain. my 3 fave players just shone thru out da match..

they make me so happie.. :)

its getting better. things at home..

to my dearest. you never fail to notice any of my mood swings. be they happie or sad. and i love you so much for dat. and for da love and care you shower on me. take care yea. i cant wait to see you. huggz! haha. *ra beams at sam* :)

yanyan! haf fun at genting! :)

im off for now. gonna decorate my christmas tree.. :)

'..do you smurf me..'

'..old trafford grass..'

i'll stand by you.

2004-12-18T20:52:00.000-08:00

i'll stand by you is playing..

[girls aloud]

Oh, why you look so sad
tears are in your eyes
Come on and come to me now
Don't be ashamed to cry
Let me see you through
'Cause I've seen the dark side too
When the night falls on you
And you don't know what to do
Nothing you confess could make me love you less

I'll stand by you
I'll stand by you
Won't let nobody hurt you
I'll stand by you

So, if you're mad, get mad
Don't hold it all inside
Come on and talk to me now
Hey, what you got to hide
I get angry too
Well, I'm a lot like you
When you're standing at the crossroads
And don't know which path to choose
Let me come along
'Cause even if you're wrong

I'll stand by you
I'll stand by you
Won't let nobody hurt you
I'll stand by you

Take me in, into your darkest hour
And I'll never desert you
I'll stand by you

And when
When the night falls on you, baby
You're feeling all alone
You won't be on your own

I'll stand by you
I'll stand by you
Won't let nobody hurt you
I'll stand by you

Take me in, into your darkest hour
And I'll never desert you
I'll stand by you
I'll stand by you
I'll stand by you
Won't let nobody hurt you
I'll stand by you

beautiful song.. :)

my 1984 bloggie.. :(

and please oh please. lemme out of da house tml.. *smurfie!* :(

shan's house.

2004-12-17T00:05:00.000-08:00

baby sometimes love just ain't enough is playing.

da ending of OC was just so unbearably sad. which has kinda set me off.

seth sitting by da beach. his only real fren. ever. seth leaving just liddat. a letter for 'mom & dad' and a letter for 'summer'. his sail boat in da distant horizons. ryan announcing his decision to leave. his glances at marissa during da wedding. their dance. 'i just want you to know that i understand why you're doing all this. but i just wish you didn't. i love you.' ryan leaving in da car wif theresa. wistfully looking at marissa thru da back mirror. marissa just looking on. sadness and reluctant-cy shining so clearly from her eyes. sandy & kuersten. jimmy & hallie. da most un-holy reunion ever. and da halllehlujia song dat was playing thru out..

watched it shan's house since i was over at her place for dinner. her 5 yr old cousin was my tissue provider. mya. she kept running to da other room and getting more tissue for me. and apparently. according to shan. she was putting saliver on her cheeks. trying to imitate my crying. hmmm..

in kind of a cry-y mood now.

crycrycry..

no more OC. not for a long long time. im gonna miss it loads.

and shan. i love you gal. i think we both realli needed today. i hope you had a lovely burfdae. i had a great time at your place. coffee next week rite? haha. cya soon! *huggz and kisses* :)

yanyan. i heard you hugged shan first today! haha. i love you gal. im realli thankful for your constant presence. sorrie to make you worrie so much. but i realli wouldnt haf known wat to do w/out you ard. frenz foreva and eva and eva yar.. *huggz!* :)

ryan.marissa.seth.summer.anna.luke.sandy.kuersten.jimmy.hallie.caleb.julie.eddie.theresa.oliver.holly.
OC season 1.

post 79. sometimes love just ain't enough.

2004-12-16T11:00:00.000-08:00

sometimes love just ain't enough is playing.

got it outta my coach's van. poor guy has been listening to it on repeat mode for da past i- dunno-how-many days..

me and szeech learnt da chorus after hearing it just 3 times. so all three of us were singing it tog..

so much so much has happened in da past week to my family. everything dat can possibly go wrong has gone wrong. and just when you think dats da end. something else more horrible befalls us and makes everything more complicated. alot of giving in has been done by da person at fault. so now up to da rest to see if they accept the terms of apology anot. its gonna take time though. quite a while im thinking. for everything to go back to normal.

there's no christmas-sy spirit at home. none at all. which is so sad and so terrible. cuz i love christmas. my family loves christmas. trees not up. presents not fully boughten yet. i CAN NOT bring myself to fully face da thought even. dat maybe. just maybe. i might haf a horrible christmas this year. i'd just die..

i love christmas. and dat love is directly proportional to dislike i haf for da situation taking place at home now. things are dat bad..

timetimetime. its not gonna go away just like dat..

something good actually happened yest though.

i actually received a $200 good progress award. which is highly amusing seeing how poorly i fared for my end of year. but im happie. im gonna buy my new rackie. and im seriously thinking of buying da new nike tennis shoe. da one wif da purple tick..

yan. thank you gal. for everything during da past few days. i love you. and happie happie belated 10th months anniversary wif your darling. better pray our darlings dun switch teams k. haha! *huggz* :)

dearest. you're at your chalet now. hope you're having fun. thank you too for being there for me yet again. i hope things on your side are improving. love you loads. and i realli cant wait to see you. *huggz*

my darling. thank you for pei-ing me dat day. so long never hold your hand le. haha. love ya! :)

shan. happie happie 17th burfdae my dear!!! and im sosososososososososososo... sorrie i cant make it out today. thanks for being so understanding. and promise to make it up to you soon k. i love you so very much! *muackz!* :)

and juLing. thank you to you too. you're still as important to me as ever. take care yar. i hope all da unhappie stuff blows away real soon..

and to you!! haha. i wish you every happiness in da world wif your 'banana'. haha. love you dear! im so happie for you. and i hope everything at home esp. starts working out soon. i'll alwaez be here yar. *huggz!* :p

[stephanie sun]

Now, I don't want to lose you,
but I don't want to use you
just to have somebody by my side.
And I don't want to hate you,
I don't want to take you,
but I don't want to be the one to cry.

And that don't really matter to anyone anymore.
But like a fool I keep losing my place
and I keep seeing you walk through that door.

But there's a danger in loving somebody too much,
and it's sad when you know it's your heart you can't trust.
There's a reason why people don't stay where they are.
Baby, sometimes, love just aint enough.

Now, I could never change you,
I don't want to blame you.
Baby, you don't have to take the fall.
Yes, I may have hurt you,
but I did not desert you.
Maybe I just want to have it all.

It makes a sound like thunder,
it makes me feel like rain.
And like a fool who will never see the truth,
I keep thinking something's gonna change.

But there's a danger in loving somebody too much,
and its sad when you know its your heart you can;t trust.
And there's a reason why people don't stay where they are
Baby, sometimes, love just ain't enough.

And there's no way home,
when it's late at night and you're all alone.
Are there things that you wanted to say?
And do you feel me beside you in your bed,
there beside you, where I used to lay?

And there's a danger in loving somebody too much,
and it's sad when you know it's your heart they can't touch.
There's a reason why people don't stay who they are.
Baby, sometimes, love just ain't enough.

Baby, sometimes, love... it just ain't enough.

Oh, Oh, Oh, No.

im off now. OC last epi tonite. and tml. sac frenly. let's go gals! :)

'..volleys make me happie..'

cry cry cry.

2004-12-14T01:05:00.000-08:00

dats wat frenz are for is playing..

crycrycry..

da tears arent stopping.

i love you dearest. and im sorrie i dunno wat to say. cuz i dunno wat to do to.

timetimetime yea..

miss you loads.

and rau. faster tag my board lah. haven seen you in sucha lonnggg time.. i hope you start feeling better soon too.

i wish everything would just go away..

ra.yan.aud.shan.

2004-12-09T21:05:00.000-08:00

'love is' is playing.

met up wif aud and shan and yan today. how ive missed my old gang. and due to unthinkable circumstances. instead of going to orchard and having a nice lunch as we had planned. we met up dat da macs opposite kallang tennis centre. it was fun though. brought back quite a few memories..

im gonna miss you aud. silly gal. how could you go away for christmas? and you're not even gonna be in spore for your burfdae! oh wells. safe journey there and back gal. and dun juz miss n**** ok! muz miss me and yan and shan too! hee. ;)

been feeling extremely tired these few days. been sleeping so early. not sure if its a sign dat sth's wrong. hp is supposed to haf been confiscated as from today. cuz as usual i exceeded my 500 smses.. haiz. my mum was so absolutely horrible today. taking out her bad mood on me and my sis. argh. and den after a while i feel so guilty for being mean back to her seeing dat so many many things haf been going on in my house. but sometimes you juz cant help it rite. we're all gals. you mood swing me. i mood swing back you lah. sigh. i had better learn how to be a better daughter man..

tml is moomoo's burfdae! haha. wish we were having training though. den he'll end up having da same fate as leonard. finally cleared up alot of stuff. mainly tennis pple related. wif yan. i value my team too much. and stop wif da m*r**** teases. *sticks out tongue!* sigh. [as you can see. im srill feeling extremely tired]. im missing you guyz already. and sth's telling me dat yest was our last ever training this year. cannot k. ive been spending so much time wif you'll. i dun think i can go dat many days w/out seeing you guyz..

i went ikea yest. my mother forced me to buy cupboards wif her. and yea. today i nailed and screwed both da cupboards wif my sis. quite fun eh. first time im trying out this diy things. and i bought a pURpLe chair!!!!!!! main highlight of my trip man. you know those kiddy kiddy chairs dat you find in kindergartens. those dat like come up to da height of your thighs only? yup. dats my pURpLe chair. hee. im so in love wif it... :)

haha. and yes guyz. i tried da meatballs. and lionel's fave almond cakie. it was ok lah. haha.. :)

im looking at this angel we bought for nishi. its a christmas angel. and its so prettie. maroonish red dress. wif shiny silver snowflakes on it. a deep red heart pendent hanging from her gold chain. and in her arms. she's cradling a silver cresent moon. and on it there's a shiny golden star. she's smiling back at me from her position atop da shelf. her golden curly hair. her innocent eyes. her chubby cheeks which seem to be glowing sucha prettie shade of peachy pink. and those wings. if i could haf a special gift. i'd wish for da gift of wings..

you can just feel it. angels descending gracefully in every corner of the earth. specially to be wif those who need dat sth extra to survive da christmas season. da season of giving. of thanks. of huggz. of smiles and laughter and happiness. da season of memories. both happie and sad. da season when you juz cant help but think of those whom you love juz so dearly. da season of 'i-love-you's. and presents and xmas trees and stockings! of puddings and candy canes and turkey! but also.. da season when missing pple dat haf walked outta your life gets so extremely unbearable..

i believe in angels. those beautiful creatues wif their constant glow. dressed in long white gowns. transparent wings and shiny golden halos. alwaez haf. and alwaez will. they're there. silently. but sturdily watching over us. trying ever so hard to protect us from harm. from hurt. from tears. but still we feel sad. we tear. we cry. we hurt. both on da inside and on da outside..

why you ask. but its not cuz they've slacked off. and please dun say they've failed in their duties. im not in any position to tell you why. cuz im questioning too. all i can offer. is dat its cuz we're still on earth. we've not in heaven. and since perfectness only exist in heaven. there's no way anyone of us can escape any of these earthly trials..

but onli if you believe. you'll sense their presence..

sufi darling. i love you gal. and i realli wish there was sth more i could do. but all i can offer. is a *super tite hug!* may da lord send his army of angels to gaurd over you..

and dearest. you mean da world to me. may da lord send over his army of angels to watch over you too. *super tite huggz!*

and to you: take care dear. and make sure you get enough rest. remb you're my star player yea. i love you so much! *super tite huggz!* too. and also. may da lord send over his army of angels to watch over you. and your family..

and to da rest of you'll. may each of you'll be blessed wif dat special angel. to guide and watch over you. believe yar. cuz angels are forever..

*thank you lord. for blessing me wif my own personal gaurdian angel. i love you.*

'..i believe in angels..'

up up up and away. da fucking burglar.

2004-12-07T16:05:00.000-08:00

dats wat frenz are for is playing.

came back last nite. now my house is in an entire mess. not onli literally as how it should be. wif new clothes and our luggage and all still lying here and there. but also metaphorically.

someone broke into my beautiful house on da nite i left. they or he or she. is a fucking bastard. cuz they've left us an entire mess to clear up.

it sucks. real bad. and my poor mother. i think her head is going to burst soon.

fucking bastard.

training tml! miss you guyz loads man. and my darling class! so many things i saw juz kept me thinking of you'll. :)

punks not dead. pURpLe corn broach! transvestites. da tuk-tuks. LEO [beer brand]. baby huey's sms. da shoes! [esp da pink ones!] da diamond/club/heart/spade bangles. da peace-sign earrings. da sunglasses! all those hippie clothes... :)

its good to be back. :)

for my dearest :

'They say it's a river that circles the earth
A beam of light shining to the edge of the universe
It conquers all, changes everything
They say it's a blessing, they say it's a gift
They say it's a miracle and i believe that it is
It conquer's all, but it's a mystery'

i love you dearest. and i miss you loads. *super tite huggz!*

'..love takes da tears and da pain. and turns it into da beauty dat remains..'

tennis chalet.

2004-12-01T15:52:00.000-08:00

can you feel the love tonite is playing.

oh wow. ive had a spectacular 4 days.

leaving for bangkok in exactly 4 1/2 hrs.

tennis chalet!!!!! i love you guyz. realli realli. alot has been happening lately. alot alot. but we're sticking it out tog yea. slowly. but surely. we'll make it. everything's gonna get better..

salvin [baby huey is scared of cats and dogs and cockroaches and even dragonflies!!!! lolz]. leonard [captain lightning!! hahaha...]. moo [blackie mangen]. lionel [king of dai dee]. yan [never lock da toilet door..]. ra [oreo cookie smile!]. hui ying [blue vodka!]. szeech [pool babe!]. audrey [piggie!!!!]. chong [ 2+hr bus ride back to bugis!].

you guyz make up so much of my world man. da next song goes out specially to you guyz. thank you for being a part of my life..

[dats wat frenz are for - dionne warwick]

And I never thought I'd feel this way
And as far as I'm concerned

I'm glad I got the chance to say
That I do believe I love you
And if I should ever go away
Well then close your eyes and try
To feel the way we do today and then if you can remember
Keep smilin' keep shinin'
Knowing you can always count on me for sure
That's what friends are for
For good times and bad times
I'll be on your side forever more
That's what friends are for

Well you came and opened me
And now there's so much more I see
And so by the way I thank you
And then for the times when we're apart
Well then close your eyes and know
These words are coming from my heart
And then if you can remember

Keep smilin' keep shinin'
Knowing you can always count on me for sure
That's what friends are for
For good times and bad times
I'll be on your side forever more
That's what friends are for

*i love you guyz. forever more..*

my darlings beat da gooners 1-0. 19sec goal by bellion! :)

happie happie belated burfdae to my dearest giggs! :)

happie happie belated burfdae to carol!! and to clay. :)

taufik won!!!! *swoons* :)

gals frenly against aj! still unbeatable in frenlies. well done gals! :)

castor meeting. 'bear wif us!!' lolz. we're gonna rock '05's o1 man. totally. :)

lastly. sufi darling!! i love you so much! haha. *barney song* it made me wanna cry. *super tite hug!* :)

so dats it. bye bye my darlings. cya when i get back! :)

*i love my tennis pple..* x)

hand in hand. rackie to rackie.

mjc tennis forever.

kal ho naa ho.

2004-11-28T22:06:00.000-08:00

kal ho naa ho is playing.

woke up today. to one of da most terrible-est smses you could EVER receive.

im sorrie moo. im so so sorrie..

'.. in certain cases. time dosen heal ALL wounds. but somehow. you'll mange to move on. somehow..'

i hate it when such things happen. because den my questioning starts all over again. why? why? why? so many questions. dat i'll never be able to get answers to.

another angel. who wanted to experience life on earth?

i wished for everyone around me to NEVER haf to go thru wat i went thru. wat my family went thru. but yet..

why lord? why? its so painful. so so painful..

boulevard of broken dreams.

2004-11-27T00:13:00.000-08:00

boulevard of broken dreams is playing. and playing. and playing.

one of da nicest song titles ever.

[greenday]

I walk a lonely road
The only one that I have ever known
Don't know where it goes
But it's home to me and I walk alone

I walk this empty street
On the Boulevard of broken dreams
Where the city sleeps
And I'm the only one and I walk alone

I walk alone
I walk alone
I walk alone
I walk a...

My shadows the only one that walks beside me
My shallow hearts the only thing that's beating
Sometimes I wish someone out there will find me
Till then I walk alone

Ah-Ah Ah-Ah Ah-Ah Ahhh-Ah
Ah-Ah Ah-Ah Ah-Ah

I'm walking down the line
That divides me somewhere in my mind
On the border line of the edge
And where I walk alone

Read between the lines
What's fucked up and everythings all right
Check my vital signs to know I'm still alive
And i walk alone

I walk alone
I walk alone
I walk alone
I walk a...

My shadows the only one that walks beside me
My shallow hearts the only thing that's beating
Sometimes I wish someone out there will find me
Till then I walk alone

Ah-Ah Ah-Ah Ah-Ah Ahhh-Ah
Ah-Ah Ah-Ah I walk alone, I walk a...

I walk this empty street
On the Boulevard of broken dreams
Where the city sleeps
And I'm the only one and I walk a..

My shadows the only one that walks beside me
My shallow hearts the only thing that's beating
Sometimes I wish someone out there will find me
Till then I walk alone!

'..you'll be proud to walk by my side..'

*smileyz* i love you dearest! x)

stolen. just like a moment..

2004-11-26T00:18:00.000-08:00

stolen is playing. and playing. and playing.

funnie feelings kinda came back. mainly after i read sufi's blog. dejavu huh..? ive got this relli strong urge to dig up da letter. but i shant. cuz i think its gonna shatter alot of things within me. my heart? my memories? da perfect image..

Stolen
Just like a moment
Stolen
You never owned it
Stolen
You took away my heart..

*i like this verse best..*

sufi and delon. i realli love you guyz. i know its fun to be home alone. but i just needed some company today. and im glad you guyz were there. haha. stupid 20 cents per game bet. lolz. at least i WON 3 games! haha.. *delon if you're reading this. try not to laugh so much k..* and caroline. you're evil!! one more time you put me thru da 'emotional torture' you put me thru today.. ONE MORE TIME..

'ra. i love you...!!! i love you...!!! you're da bestest best friend in da world. so understanding...' *shifty eyes*

to my dearest. da sweetest. most true-est person i know. deserves onli da sweetest most true-est of happiness. dat would bring about da sweetest. most true-est smile upon her lips. i love you dearest. smileyz yar. *super tite hug*

and to you: your long long letter realli broke my heart. i love you so much. sorrie you haf to be put thru so much. and i promise you once again. i'll never foresake you. never ever..

'..time realli flies.. wonder wat airline time travels.. must be damn fast man..'

'..wearing black thick frame specs.. wif uniform tight and high high.. side parting wif lotsa gel.. and carrying a huge pile of books wif his waterbottle strapped across his shoulder carrying onto his fave power ranger back pack..'

da incredibles.

2004-11-24T21:00:00.000-08:00

'love is' is playing.

i saw him today. at lido. we watched da same movie. he was sitting a few rows in front of me. wif a girl. his special someone? i dunno. i couldnt believe my eyes. i just stared. my eyes just followed him all da way to da toilet. my heart froze. and my stomach felt constricted. i was just stuck in my chair. eyes wide open. mouth gapping and all. so entirely self-conscious..

its been so long. well maybe not dat long. wat 9mths plus. today was like living out a dream. i dream dat one day i'd just bump into him liddat. a dream i had sucha a long time ago. it juz felt so wierd seeing dat it had actually come to live..

it was so weird. and my insides were so messed up. not at all how i should be reacting. once da movie ended. i sat. until i could sit no longer due to time constraints. and den onli i got up. and we took da furthest exit from him. praying dat he hadnt spotted me. i just didnt think i could face him den..

whilst we walked away from lido. i kept looking back. looking to da sides. after a while. i think i forgot. i love you sufi! we took neoprints. and even though one of da stupid pens couldnt work. they still turned out so nicely. i was happie. no sign of him. at all..

and den. this was so unexpected! we saw TOM!!! whislt walking back to da mrt! haha. he didnt see us though. and sufi was like damn!! i should haf reacted quicker! and gone like FLORA...!!! or sth. haha. her words 'wat a beatiful ending to da day' realli hit deep. and i realli thought dat was da end..

but no. when i got off at tanah merah. i turned back as da train was pulling away. and there he was. how qiao can it get man. but somehow. i wasnt surprised. cuz somehow. i think subconsciously. i knew dat i was gonna see him again. at least one more time. all da wierdness and funniness. it just came flooding back. i walked so fast i tell you. so so fast..

i haf no clue as to why i reacted in dat sort of way. sitting here typing this entry. im still feeling everything. da heaviness of my heart. da breathless moments. all of it..

was it too sudden? totally caught off-gaurd. our meeting. wif da one guy dat had alwaez been captured in my memories. and in my heart. as being perfect. some memories last foreva. and da ones he left me wif. they'll alwaez be recalled. and remembered by. wif da fondest of smiles. locked foreva in dat special corner of my heart..

there. ive said it all. feeling alot better now. ive sinced moved on. realli. just sometimes. when da past catches you by suprised. you get hit especially hard..

thank you to sufi. for helping me forget. sorrie if i wasnt such a good movie partner today. *jack-jack is soooo..... cute!* :)

to my darling. and to carol. thank you. for just reacting when i msged..

and to my dearest. im so glad i was able to tell why why i didnt go. i love you so much. take care k. and i hope my *magic happiness dust* help. *ra huggz sam super titely!*

training tml..

delon and ju. and tracy and carol. and seanie! wish you guyz could haf made it today. missing you'll loads..

bye bye.

love is.

2004-11-23T16:59:00.000-08:00

love is is playing.

[vanessa williams & brain mcknight]

They say it's a river that circles the Earth
A beam of light shining to the edge of the universe
It conquers all, it changes everything
They say it's a blessing, they say it's a gift
They say it's a miracle and I believe that it is
It conquers all, but it's a mystery

Love breaks your heart
Love takes no less than everything
Love makes it hard
And it fades away so easily

In this world we created, in this place that we live
In the blink of an eye, babe, the darkness slips in
Love lights the world
unites the lovers for eternity...

Love breaks the chains
Love aches for every one of us
Love takes the tears and the pain
And then turns it into the beauty that remains

Look at this place, it was paradise
But now it's dying
I'll pray for love
I'll take my chances, that it's not too late

Love breaks your heart
Love takes no less than everything
Love makes it hard
And it fades away so easily
Oh Oh Oh, Love breaks the chain
Love aches for every one of us
Love take the tears and the pain
And it turns it into the beauty that remains...

my dream jobs..

2004-11-23T16:03:00.000-08:00

'love is' is playing.

first day in a long long while dat im slacking at home.

in a way it feels good though. listening to my playlist. surfing pple's blogs. and pple's frensters. da usual..

its gonna rain soon. luckily i went to da bakery earlier on. we're having chilli crab for dinner. so my dad got me to walk to da bakery near my house to buy french loaves. its soo bigg compared to one ones you get from other places.. haha..

which reminds me. i dunno how i could haf missed this out. but i wanna add working in a bakery to my long list..

so this is how ive planned it.

first i wanna be a waitress . lionel you better remb to call me go sign up wif you k.

den i wana go work at starbucks . i wanna learn how to make da mocha frap. but i think da mian reason i wanna work there is cuz i love coffee. and da aroma. its so heavenly.. plus HY can come visit me! cuz she loves da brownies there. haha..

den i also wanna be a florist. sufi already thought of a name for me. flora and fauna. haha. i love flowers.. just da though of being surrounded by them makes me smile.. but first i must go learn how to arrange them rite. hmmm. pinkish liliers and deep red roses. their my favourite..

and den i wanna work in a bakery to!! ooh. da smell ... everytime i walk past bread talk or four leaves.. *takes a deep breadth* heavenly. yan i know you're cringing as you read this. but i love braed. haha. and rite now i haf 4 different types [milk bread. gardenia. french loaf. soft grain!] of bread at home! happiness..

haha. ive also alwaez wanted to be an air stewardess. but im too short. lolz. so this dream's never gonna come true..

but in da long run. i wanna be an interior designer. i love ikea. i love barang-barang. i love park mall. oh man. paints. and colours. and sofas. and curtains! and beds! and cupboards. they rock my world. haha. i think ive kinda thought out my dream home. but im gonna need to marry a real rich guy to live out dat dream..

if dat dosent work out. den i shall be an architect. afterall. NUS dosen offer an interior designing course. so i shall haf to go for architecture. should be fun too i guess. all to do wif artsy-dutsy stuff. haha..

its raining now.. and im eating this funnie little sweets dat my sis fren bought from taiwan. da pink ones haf little swirls on them. and da pURpLe ones look like tennis balls cuz they haf green streaks. and there are da yellow ones. which haf smiley faces on them. cute..

which reminds me. yest i saw this super duper cute fluffy tennis ball at addidas. oh man. 39.90 i think. comes wif 2 little addidas shoes. i want...

little whiny me is coming out again.. got forced into watching 'SAW' yest wif my tennis pple. and if anyone should ever need to know why i. or HY for dat matter. CANNOT watch such shows [thrillers. horrors. scary scary shows]. please go seek out any of my tennis pple dat i went out wif yest.

they'll give you more den enough reasons for you to never even speak about such shows in our presence. let alone catch them.

moo. leo. salvin. lionel. szeech. HY. i love you guyz. even after wat you'll made me go thru. just abt a week to our chalet.. :)

sufi. carol [i wanna hear da funnie story!!]. tracy. jules [congrats on your baptism! :)]. shu. delon. seanie. i miss you guys..

darling [thank you for da update abt da starz..]. and my dearest. im missing you'll 2 especially..

its juz another of those days..

*xin-fu smile..* :)

ogl camp.

2004-11-22T00:25:00.000-08:00

do you still is playing.

back from ogl camp! :)

im from castor all over again.. THIRD orientation in da same orientation group. dats sth im extremely extremely proud of!

day 1: 8am. welfare check. 16 pple. bunk check-in. E3-2. 9 gals. ice-breakers [double wacko!]. lunch. amazing rack [a.k.a Magnificient Meridian Marathon. mmm...]. route 3! [we rock man..!!!]. TOM. kopitiam. ezlink [tj]. cc. blk 116 [spagetthi]. white sands [stranded dolphins]. brontosaurous(?) park [ice-cream sticks!]. 1st group back to have gone to ALL 6 stations! [woohoo~~]. dinner [wassup wassup. wassup wassup wassup..!!!!]. know your college. ameera [chapteh hang-man]. teamwork. joan [liberty!]. participation. alyssa. math teacher's room. squash courts. outside lt5. floorball [bball courts]. library. in da field [announces to da world : giggs scored....!!!!! 41 st min!!! *jumps. screams.yayyayyayyayyay!!!*]. lt1 [announces to da world : scholes scores......!!!! 50th min. *its about time my darling. yayyayyayyayyay..!!!]. sheer bliss. area clean up [3rd floor lah. outside bio lab]. waterbombs!! bathe! team meeting. sharul's biscuit tin!! ;) 1230 [lights out].
6 gals. zzz.

bawitaba dabang dabang diggie diggie diggie said da boogie said up jump da boogie!

day 2 : 645!! 11 pple. breakfast. wet and wild [castor rocks man!!]. darling's station [you said ONE h20bomb lah..]. drenched [halim.. bonus points!!]. kumar. liane [sauman..!!]. wanlin. jia yan [candles..;)]. diana [throw da bucket of water!]. sufiyan. musical chairs. rum singing his tamil song to natasha. sham!! salvin [and his polos..]. caterpillar vs castor. castor vs alhena! castor/sargas/reggie. captain's ball [3-1! :)]. outside lt1 [we were soaked..]. ms lai [time-table]. area clean up [bball court/tennis courts]. limbo [and da extremely embarrassing trip and fall]. bunk check-out. debrief. bathe! lunch [downtown east bk]. home sweet home! :)

castor.alhena.zosma.sargas.vega.reggie.

da emotions are coming back. i cant wait till orientation!

jia yan.gwen zhen.sharul.louis.yun sheng.johnsson.joan.daolin.rathika.wei sze.joanna.yan ru.sau man. johanna.luther.wei ying.rumesh.kifa.

Castor Rocks.

**note: castor's actually supposed to be black. but since dat colour is unavailable. it shall juz haf to be purple. [like its alwaez been. in my dreamz...] ;)

my baby whale.

2004-11-19T22:27:00.000-08:00

you make me wanna is playing.

im sad. and i feel like eating fishball noodles. :(

my baby whale is out. stupid sylvester. he's just da guy version of jasmine trias. my oli-poly deserves dat place in da finals soooo.... much more den him lah. *humph!*

ogl camp tml. im feeling so tired...

monday having tennis outing. qing coming too. we gonna go watch da incredibles tog! yay. :)

im outta here. my poor baby whale.. :(

12 nn. 19 nov. in front of da merlion.

2004-11-19T11:11:00.000-08:00

i wun forget you is playing.

yest was beautiful. and i'll never forget everything dat happened.

everyone.turned.up.

all.8.of.us.

it.was.da.first.time.

da hugs. da disbelief dat everyone catually turned up. joyce gg OBS tml [choon..!!] xy's yun nan OCIP. jac and ming's sabah OCIP trip. cartel? nooch? kenny rogers? wildfire? crystal jade? and finally. our nydc dinner [2 86.s/3 87.s/104./some snow-bally thingy]. buttercup feeding her chocolate egg [ lolz. i'll never forget how xin-fu my darling looked]. joyce hard AND soft brownies. [eeky deeky] MUSHROOMS!!! da monkey. going up da [loooonnggg...] spiral staircase. dashing across da road. sw and da huge pink flying saucer [lolz!]. sky garden. couples everywhere! [esp ONE dat stood out from all da rest..] da one star [onli me and jac seemed to be able to see]. our circle. da pictures. double eye-blinding flashes. school [vj.tj.rj.mj]. tkgs. 4e4. ms ho! ms johara! [da ever-dearest] mrs guna! zhaung. yeo-yeo. connor. mr yip. tan kk. mrs lopez! boyfriends. marriage. da whistle. saturday. 10 dec 2005 [ 386 days from today..]. walking down da escalators. sam leaving to take bus home [she didnt hug us...!!!!]. city hall mrt. sw leaving to take NW (?) line. high 5! us sitting. and xy standing. xy's house [after dec13]. doraemon. eunos. kembagnan. tanah merah. pasir ris. da goodbyes.

im missing sec sch life like crazie. i miss your constant presence. i miss being able to say morning! to you'll each day. i miss our little corner. all our food. our msges. and gossip sessions. and i miss us foreva being called to answer questions during chem. i miss how we used to fool ard in da chem lab. i miss having sam to run wif me during pe. i miss reading all xy's your msg-es. i know you'll miss mrs guna and mrs lopez more den i do. i miss having recess wif you'll. i miss going to da coffee shop [ee mee. fishball noodles] wif you'll. i miss us alwaez teasing sw abt da size of her food proportions [lolz!]. i even miss being teased by you'll abt my newpaper!

there's still so much more dat i miss..

and yest. juz sitting there wif you'll. it was just so different. jc life seems somehow. incomparable. wif you'll. im happie. its dat simple.

i couldnt stop smiling to myself yest during math lect cuz i was so excited to see you guyz. and yan thought i was crazie. cuz after math lect i onli got higher. to da point of talking abt wanting to spread my joy to her and blah blah. lolz. and another thing. during my lit book test. i wrote my class down as 4e4. dats how immersed i was in my thoughts abt seeing you guyz. and it shocked me. cuz i dun think i actually realised how much i miss our 4e4 times.

there were 8 of us yest. some im alot more close to den others. but wadeva happens next. i want you'll to know how grateful i am to have come to meet you. and know you. your presence. spiritually or physically. haf meant so much. during good times. and during my worser times. and da influeneces [both good and bad! ;)] you guyz haf let run on me. they've changed me. significantly. and lastly. da memories you guyz haf left me wif. priceless. thank you. once again. for being part of my life.

i love you guyz to death.

siok wei.xin yue.li pei.jac.joyce.ming yun.ra.sam.

frenz till da end.

happie. in a weird-ish sorta sense.

2004-11-17T20:38:00.000-08:00

last song is playing.

there is sth wrong wif my speaker.it goes loud and soft. and loud and soft. but nvm.

first things first. happie happie 17th burfdae sufi darling! :)

secondly. im happie. in a wierd-ish sorta sense. subtly happie. i think dats wat you call it. had kind of a crappie day today. but amidst all of it. there was so much good dat came out of it. not like super happie things where i benefitted greatly from it. but just good things. blessings realli..

i had so many pple fussing over me. haha. felt like a baby.. :p

math was horrible. goodness. i almost died. and i seriously havent a clue abt wat she's taking abt. shu didnt come. and carol was sick. so i guessed she must haf been hiding out in da ODAC room since she was still in school. sat wif shi yun. but she was sitiing wif her choir fren. ugh. so i was all alone. physically.

1st blessing : thank you lord. for frenz like carol and sufi darling who were pei-ing me wif their smses. :)

and den there was this survey thingy dat wasted 30 mins of my time!! abt da change in jc subjects in 2006. each of them has got at least to take 4 subs man. and some may even be forced into taking 5. lucky for us. we were born 2 years earlier! [ guess 'tis my 2nd blessing!]

3rd blessing : thank you lord. for training. luckily i had dat to look forward to. and for all my tennis pple as well. haha. we all were eating branch tog in da canteen. even qing ate wif us.

scotland jelly beans. lor-mai-kai. fishieballs! wanton. banana cupiecakes [ super yummie!]. egg-mayo + tuna sandwhiches. otah bread.

haha. training was shit man. realli trulie. all of us were screwing up so badly. we took like how long lah. just to be done wif a 15 stroke rally. qing was so dissapointed in us. could tell. cuz he turned realli mean during da drills. yup. so everyone was in a disappointed-turned-irritated- turned-pissy mood. not good. but still. such trainings just bind us even more tog. everyone was like 'heya. chill yah' after a while.

4th blessing : thank you lord. once again. for such wonderful team mates. and lord!! thank you for sean. i love him sooo much! haha.

i was going to da canteen wif yan to get a drink. and there he was. having training. and yep. wif all da shit dat was going on in training at dat point of time. when i saw sean. my face just lit up. i was juz so glad to see him. he's realli my kai-xin-guo. haha. and dat dumb dumb. he was trying to play bball wif a medicine ball [3kg..] lah. i was laughing so hard. cuz it looked real spastic from where i was standing in da court. haha! i love you sean! x) [sean's presence was my 5th blessing!]

6th blessing : another thing to be thankful for. TOM was having his training in da bball courts..!!! lolz. such eye candy.. ;)

and yar. oh man!! we are soooo terribly unfit! im so unfit! we couldnt even do da 4-ball drill fast enough. da time to beat was 38secs. we did it in like 47secs. oh man. finally qing gave up. said we had 45secs to complete it. another let down. but haha.

7th blessing : thank you lord. once again. for my tennis pple. cool down was so funnie. oh man. even qing could help but laugh.

wif reference to da word 'mangen' : as yellow as da corn in da corner of da corn field? as black as a blackie? come on man. such lame ass-es i haf in my team man. and oh according to da oh-so-clever moo. corn used to be pURpLe. so us 'mangens' used to be pURpLe. so im apparently a pURpLe corn. and oh. 'lets stretch our waist!!' lolz. its supposed to be hips..

and dat leonard toh i tell you. oh man. dat stupid guy. he went to watch 'shutter' as well. haha. pretending to msg.. ;) dat dumb dumb kept looking ME! in da eye. wanting to tell me da entire story. stupid piggie. purposely onli. 'ra. i bet if you watched it. you'd be screaming all da way thru.' ...

8th blessing : and after training. someone. you'd never guess who. msged 'i finished reading the whole book!'. haha. my motivation! thank you delon! :)

see wat i mean. so many blessings. and not at all in disguise.

realli looking forward to our tennis chalet. and of cuz my 1st 3mths chalet too! and yup. if the teachers approve of it. our combined tennis camp wif da bball-ers! :)

qing.salvin.leonard.moo.lionel.chifung.yan.ra.sze chi.hui ying.chong lee.audrey.felicia.dr rahman.mrs quek.mr chew.

MJC Tennis Rocks.

i met sam today.

2004-11-16T18:49:00.000-08:00

sorrie seems to be da hardest word is playing.

im feeling so tired now. i think da hangover from my late nite out is still knda lingering..

i met my dearest today. man. ive missed her soo much!!! haha. wanted to intro her to EVERYBODY. but in da end i onli introed her to da gals. cuz all da guys went toilet. together! ;)

haha. we only spent abt an hour tog. but i guess dat was kinda enough. our neoprints turned out so funnie. lolz. we never read properly. den didnt know we onli get to pose for 4. not 6 shots. but yea. it wasnt dat bad. pictures which haf da both of us in it can never be dat bad. :)

and now i cant wait for thursday to come. me. sam. xy. sw. darling. joyce. ming yun. jac. 4e4 reunion. still remb? 19 nov. in front of da merlion at 12nn. its been almost a year [ 329 days realli.] since we made dat pact. i cant believe everyone actually remembered. its sucha wonderful feeling..

sean shit..........!!!!!!!! you promised arh. one seoul garden trip. and another trip to da movies. we even hooked fingers virtually. you better keep your promise man. if not i'll turn REAL evil... ;)

'baa-baa-black-sheep' wind chime. super ger-ger blue flowery box [hee!]. tm. seoul garden. shan [!!!!!]. butterflies. food court [entrance!]. ra-thai-ka [?!?!?!]. i-miss-you....!!!!-hug. neoprints. frenz foreva. tk rocks. '03. bread talk. diet [!!!!!]. thursday. da send-off. never-wanna-let-you-go-hug. *waves*.

im missing you already.

two freaking periods tml. budden there's training. so i haf to come. some little birdie already told me though. dat our class is onli gonna haf 12 pple tml..

tired. abit blur. abit flustered. wierd-ish. not-exactly-myself mode. not cry-y mode either...

i dunno. but goodbye peeps. for now.

'..we all know how much you miss her..'

wad a lovely hari raya weekend!!!

2004-11-15T23:59:00.000-08:00

1/3 no junjou na kanjou is playing.

ooh la la. i had sucha FABULOUS weekend i tell you.

da zzzover rocked. lolz. tennis pple were having a soccer ntie out man. not to mention a prata nite out. and bitching nite out. ;)

met yan. HY. and salvin first. ervin was there too. but apparently he had to go home and study if not quite a few pple were going to slap him. lolz. den lionel arrived. and we decided to go bedok simpang to haf prata!! lolz. mother picked moo up from da station before dropping us off at da prata shop!! sze met us there. leo's parents didnt allow him to come! :(

plain prata. egg prata [which yan has NEVER eaten in her entire life]. teh-peng. teh-terik. funnie car models. manutd. toONy. shutter. girl on your shoulder [!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!]. psyco-bunny owner....

oh man. da walk back to my place was scary. all sze's fault...!!! *shivers*

ooh. den we went sze's house. her room is nice.. ;) and there we met tiger. and ginger. and brandy. and champaigne. and freakin moo was shouting cockroach every few secs juz to scare us. me mainly lah. but yar...

and den da match begun. im so glad we won. it wasnt a super duper match. but we played ok enough to get a win. and da goals were GREAT. my darling didnt start. finally came on like at da 73min or sth. rooney's first goal was wonderous though. whao man. shay was so near yet so far. and den da equaliser came. dammit man. this time carroll was so near yet so far. freakin shearer. but da goal was nice too. and den da penalty. ruud rocks. and final goal wah lau. smith striked. cleared off da line by bramble. and den super rooney...!!! it was real rocky.

manutd rocks. and yay. my predicted scoreline of 3-1 came true. *sorrie yan..*

i think da entire time they were at my place. we spent like all our time at my hall. so fun.

boyfriends. A levels. army. waiting. singlehood. 'elaine'. 'jessica'. angelina jolie. unit cost [some econs term lah. i cant remb ecactly wat]... *ahh... i cannot mention so many things lah. so we shall juz leave it as it is.* ;)

finally turned in ard 530am.. lolz. all squished on da bed. onli dat stupid salvin wanted to zzz on da cold hard bench. which actually was better. cuz there was no way another person could squeeze in.

morning was funnie. we couldnt wake up in time for da macs breakfast we had been taking abt since after da match had ended. lolz. so we decided to haf branch instyead. and we ended up at popeye's chicken!! my first ever visit there. i love da scones and da maple syrup. by den onli me. sze. HY. lionel and salvin were left. we went starbucks after dat. and ate brownie! :)

my whole entire weekend has been extremely shortly summarised in da above few paragraphs. and maybe it dosent realli sound as interesting as it was. but i dun care. cuz no words can describe juz how much we all had during da so many so many hours we spent in each other's company. i love you guyz so much.

thanks for coming. and thanks for just being part of my life. mjc tennis rocks.

im happie. :)

and to my dearest!! i cant wait to see you tml!! :)

i love my tennis team.

2004-11-13T22:56:00.000-08:00

tears i cried is playing.

short short entry. cuz my korean show starting soon.

im so happie. went out wif m tennis pple today. met up wif yanyan. HY. chong. moo and lionel. and we watched sharktale!!!! *i am so hopelessly in love wif da prawnie...* we ate BK. god. da whopper is so bloody HUGE man. i ate like half and gave up. haha. yan was as equally useless as me! and we took neoprints. haha. they all turned out almost da same. too many pple. no space to pose. but it was so funnie. 'balls'? yan is sick man. haha. and guess who purposely wrote moo's name in pink? lolz.. me!!! :)

sharktale was ok. as ive said before. I AM SO TOTALLY IN LOVE WIF DA PRAWNIE...!!!! its juz sooo... cute. lolz. and lionel and his angelina jolie. yup. den we went moo's hpuse for our deepavali dinner!! chin poh and ting yi and salvin were already there. salvin apparently arrived ina rocket. lameass. den leo arrived.

i had to leave early...!!! cuz it was my uncle's burfdae. yea. so sad. yan left abit later den me. she had some other thingy going on too lah. haha. and later i found out after they ate. they played pictionary whilst watching da gooners match [5-4 lah. wah lau.]. i asked them how come they dun wanna play charades.. ;)

i feel so blessed to be part of sucha wonderful team. so totally in love wif my tennis pple. haha. yan seemed to juz onli realise how wonderful our team is though. she msged '...our tennis team is so nice....' to me onli today. she's so slow sometimes i tell you. haha. which reminds me of bk. dunno wat exactly we were talking abt already. all i can remb is me and HY shouting at her at da same time 'he's kidding lah!!!'. moo and lionel were laughing too hard to say anything. lolz..

and yup. tml having zzzover at my place. manutd [ra. HY. leo. moo] vs toONy [yan]. lolz!!!!

tml den i shall continue..

i had a great time today though. thanks moo. for da invite. and im real sorrie i had to leave early. and thanks to da rest of you'll for watching sharktale cuz of me. it was realli sweet. and yar. we'll play pool soon ok. [moo : its on da 7th floor. *wants to press da button for 7th floor* eh.. no 7th floor! den 8th floor lah. *lift door opens at 8th floor. moo pokes his head out.* eh. nth eh. aiya.. muz be 9th floor lah. eh.. nth eh. aiya. muz be 8th floor lah. *at 8th floor. we all get out. turn left. turn rite. all we see is this arcade place dat seems deserted* lionel : i know!! 6th floor! *lift door opens. we all get in. door opens at 6th floor. moo pokes his head out once again* nth eh.. aiya. we go arcade lah. *at 4th floor* there's this HUGE SIGN saying 'K POOL. 8TH FLOOR'. we all [gals] turn and look at moo. wif DAT look.] lolz. it was kinda fun though...

haha. good night dears. :)

tribute to rau.

2004-11-12T23:44:00.000-08:00

heaven's place is playing.

mother came back today!

i haven missed her all dat much realli. probably cuz i kept taking advantage of my mother-less situation to keep going out to play. im sucha mean daughter. but yep. she might haf spent very little. but she sure brought back a hell lot of food. cookies. nougats. shortbread. jelly beans [!!!!!]. chocolates [truffle/italian/..]. christmas pudding!! toffee pudding!!

man. there goes my diet. lolz.

and im real real sorrie moo. dun think im gonna be able to make it at all for your deepavali partie. i realli wish i could be there. but id feel extremely guilty towards not spending time wif my family now dat my mum is finally back. im sure it'll be a blast. so you guyz haf fan yar. and dun miss me too much! ;)

and hey moo!! heehee. thanks for being sucha nice guy. i think we listened to 'dance with my father' say abt.. close to 15 times? ;)

training today couldnt be called a training. all i remb doing was da warm up. and a little bit of da doubles me and HY were playing. hmmm. yup. i love rain. but NOt during training...!!! and mr chew best. he juz disappeared. of course not without locking da courts! ugh. ended up having a team meeting and playing dai dee.

and sufi and delon take note!!!! I WON!! I WON!! it may haf been ONE game. but i still WON!! lolz. all of them couldnt believe it. not cuz they doubted my skill ok. but cuz i won wif a 4 spade. lolz. stupid yanni. so dumb. she put out her SMALLEST card, not realising dat i had onli One card left!! lolz. if not leonard would surely haf won. he had a diamond ace. and i had a 4 spade. and i WON...!!! heeheehee.. x)

and yar. lionel rocks at it man. stupid guy won $2.40..

hmmm. and yup. sean and delon thought us all how to play bridge today. its kinda interesting...

special tribute to rauzan :
da one person who MOST reminds me of 1st 3mths. those most wonderful-lest times we shared. juling's fave boy! one of da sweetest persons ever. and damn cute too! :) talking to him alweaz melts my heart. my fellow manutd supporter. still remb you wore your beckham [YUCKS...!!!!] jersey during road race? i still remb how you used to run so fast during PE. da person who introduced me to 'hello there.. da angel from my nitemare..' [ this song will forever remain as special as it is now..] and da wonderful guy who was ever willing to send me 'rite here waiting' time and time again when my stupid kazaa konked. and our very own a301 marcellus! soccer-pro!!! [me and ju used to sit at da gallery and watch you play..] and i think you were nick-named great white shark in da end rite. of our very own a301 aquarium. and nerd day!!! lolz. calculator. da FLAT hair!! plus like four different coloured pens in your chest pocket lah. tog wif ur spects. best looking nerd ard!! ;)

rau!! you've left me wif loads of great memories. missing you loads. cant wait till we finally plan our 1st 3mths gathering. but till den take care yar. train hard! and 'dun ever think for one second dat ive forgotten abt you' k! [sounds familiar rite..] missing you loads...!!! ;)

im happie. good nite pple! :)

to my dearest: words cant express how much i want to take away all da pain and hurt she's inflicted upon you. take care yar. i miss you loads.

tears i cried.

2004-11-11T23:26:00.000-08:00

tears i cried is playing. and playing. and playing.

im sitting in front of da com. juz sitting. listening. drinking my barley. thinking over today's events. wishing there was oc. and missing my dearest.

'You take the tears I cried and lift me up to the bluer skies
Yes, you gave me hope and meaning to my life, I love you so
You never asked me why, just smiled and took all the tears I cried
Baby, now I know what love is and what I am living for... '

da onli part of da song i understand. seeing dat somehow or other i cant find da english translation. significance? im wishing all da above for my dearest.

i miss you so very very much... :(

no more pw.ever.

2004-11-11T22:40:00.000-08:00

ive finally found someone is playing.

no more pw. ever. i dun its realli hit me yet though. cuz da elated-ness id expected hasnt yet arrived.

those stupid page numbers. so irrtating. dat was probably da hardest of all our pw/gpf tasks we had to complete. and haha. da reflections sean had faked for us. but some parts were quite true realli. esp in da case of carol..?? ;)

and delon and sufi. i hate you'll lah. stop showing of my 'MOST BEAUTIFUL-LEST' picture to everyone lah. goodness. and sufi. as quoted from your blog. you shall CONTINUE respecting my wishes. and NOT post any of those pix ANYWHERE.

**Note: i didnt mention anything abt NOT putting up ms armagedon's pix though.. ;)

highlight of my day: tj frenly..!!! :)

shan.....!!!!!! I LOVE YOU GAL!!!! . hahahaha. i couldnt stop hugging her man. missed you loads. and aud. i still love you. eventhough you broke your promise. I STILL LOVE YOU . yan. my bestest best doubles partner ever. YOU KNOW I LOVE YOU...!! :)

my 4 bestest best tenniz frenz ever.

and juz now. da marie biscuits!!! da gummies [shan you remb..!!]!! da fone call to aud [ i miss seeing you my dear gal...]. da doubles match [7-5 up!!! from 3-0 down ok..]. act-cute pose. dao-pose. supermodel-pose. and-when-i-touch-you-i-feel-happie-inside-pose [hee..;)] i-love-you-pose. gallery-pose. bollywood-coconut-tree-pose [tml is deepavali...]. bball-court-pose. goalpost-post. outside-da-courts-pose. holding hands and skipping. visiting yan in da toilet [lolz..]. and your most wonderful tennis-teacher-in-charge! :)

and yup. thanks to moo. leo. salvin and lionel for your congrajulations and good lucks! *round of applause..* ;)

results were not too bad. altogether we played 6 matches. won three. so we technically drew. me and yan still unbeatable in all our friendlies! so dats cool. we've onli lost ONE competitive match this year. *stupid acjc one..* well done gals! not so scary after all rite. :)

ok. my nose is crazie. its blocked. and i didnt even cry today lah. hmmm. hope i dun fall sick man. which reminds me. sufi dear. better take care k. ju's already getting better. you dun wanna further prolong your 2 extra days of pw do you..

purple circles. pink daisies. glittering starz. bryan adams. everything i do, i do it for you. missing-you tears.

im so tired..

my today.geylang.

2004-11-10T00:03:00.000-08:00

dolls is playing.

i did go geylang. wif juz carol alone. and i had such fun all over again wif da exact same pple. kinda wierd how its alwaez da 4 of us dats left.

geylang was fun. me and carol realli wanted to get ourselves each a malay traditonal costume. but yar. no money. and yep more den half da time i was juz pretending to understand wat da pple were saying to me so it was kinda hard to bargain. [they all thought i was malay...]. but we did buy bangles though. so prettie! and henna. and omg. CAROLINE TAN LI SHAN thought this guy was sooo bloody cute. so all cuz of her. we walked like 6 times ast his stall lah. it was sooo obvious.

1st time we walk. she bought wadai. immediately after. carol "omg ra. did you see him. did you see him?!?!?!?!" ra "yes i saw. you wanna walk back izzit?" carol "huh... cannot lah. so obvious.." ra "ok. later k" carol "okokok!!" 2nd time we walk. carol swoons all over again. 3rd time. we juz watch from a dist realli. 4th time. carol and i buy their special burger [its actually juz a beef patty,tomato. and a fried egg.]. carol pays. but da cute guy hands over da stuff to me. and says thanks to me. lolz. she was so pissed!!! 5th time. we had to walk back to get to da mrt station. another guy [but also from cute guy'd stall] was trying to get us to buy otah. we said no thanks. walk abit.. carol "ra... he's so cute lah... ra..." ra "ok fine. erm. we buy otah for da rest k. den you can get to see him again." carol [almost JUMPING for joy]. okokok!!" so we walk back. 6th time. and dat same guy was like see i knew you'll wanted to buy otah. omg. and this time i didnt look at cute guy. so carol got all da attenetion. lolz. but she was too shy. didnt dare look at him. i was shaking wif laughter man. hahahaha...

and afro guy!! dis was da best man. his hair was sooo cool. yep. so we decided to ask him if we could take a pix wif him. but first we had to buy a drink from his stall. da mango juice cost $2 bucks ok. and he actually said yes. made us so happie. cuz we. actually more i. cuz i had to ask. were dying from embarrassement. budden after like 5secs. he said sorrie. now he was too busy. later ok. den later when we went back to look for me. he wasnt there. so sad. he realli looked damn cute wif his afro hair. **moo! go check it out!! ;)

lolz. so after buying da otah from cute guy's stall. we went straight to our 3rd home!! sufi's hse. :)

she and ju were playing worms. den delon came. and after a little while more of worms. guess wat. we resortted back to our old ways. CHARADES!! lolz. still same pairing lah. so yup. same results. winnie da pooh [tiger. lion. panther. zebra!! lolz]. impt burfdae dates. oxford dictionary. hell song. twin turbos [some power ranger thingy..]. 26 thousand 4 hundred markets [?!?!?!]. da-greek-saying-of-'E'. sigma notation. great wall of china. temasek tower. [eye candy..]. carry on jeeves. drops of jupitor. gay [rubbish. idiot. garbage. gay! gigolo...!!] blade. VS mathematical induction. 1 million magnets. sticky bluetack. rugby hot shots. wellington bear. lose yourself. worse day of my life. smurfs. cellular. captain underpants. curry puff. mango pudding. jelly tots. devils vs angels. wet blanket. hahahahahaha...

yep. den ju left. so we decided to play pyramid's game. lolz. cannot make it lah. change of groups finally! we had singapore. movies. music and food. haha. we [me and carol] were kinda sleepy. so abit blur blur. but it was fun still.

and da walk to white sands was real nice too. delon yakitty-yakking away in da front. whilst da rest of us. juz enjoying da nite sky. da peacefullness. each other's company. den macs for dinner. delon and his comment on "aklward" silences..

haha. still cant believe ive managed to find such fun from games such as da above. never could i haf ever imagined playing such games. thanks guyz. love you'll loads.

**Note: for further laughs. plz proceed to sufi's bloggie..

moving on to other stuff..

i wish... i wish.. i wish...

da world alwaez seems a better place wif you ard. if only we'd talk..

op no more.

2004-11-09T13:02:00.000-08:00

light of sorrow is playing.

oh man. yest was swell. hee. i realli enjoyed da company of you guyz. sufi. carol. delon.

first thing in da morining was pw/op!!! oh man. i was shaking. hands and insides and all. and apparently my voice too. cuz da rest said that ther could kinda hear da shakiness in my voice. but oh well. i think i still did ok. i had my back turned against da rest of them whilst they were presenting. since i was da clicker. but yup. they were good. :)

den came da Q&A section. heehee. 3 Qs each ok. too much man. and sean was swaying. shu did her pointy toes thingy as well. but our answers were not as bad as da ones we gave ms tan during all those op dry runs. so yay for us. we survived. and now no more worrying abt op. ever! :)

last lap of our pw. it all officially ends on wed [which is tml!!!] once we submit our GPF.

den i was supposed to go watch SHARKTALE!! wif carol. den we asked sufi to come too. and since everyone was taking train. we all went tog. me. carol. sufi. shu [gg lavender to meet her mum]. delon. and sean [meeting mich].

first time ive taken train wif sean. i dunno why. but i juz had to write dat down. probably cuz it was da 1st time it seemed as if he was gonna go out wif us. yea. its worth noting down. and yar. as usual it was him teasing me abt keep wanting to repeat carnation. i think in total i haf sufi playing it abt 4 times for me. hee. yea. so after shu and sean left. it was down to juz 4 of us. me. sufi. carol. delon.

and as usual. thanks to mr alwaez-hungry. we went scotts. juz to watch him eat his breakfast. beef noodles. sat there for an hour plus i think. was remended once again abt ms bright-blue-cast's biking incident. as well as mr alwaez-hungry's car incident. lolz. it was damn funnie.

den we went far east! reminded me so much of da time i went there wif sam they all. cuz we did da exact same things in da same sequence as i had done wif sam they all.

step 1 : [onli this step happened to be step 2 when i went out wif sam they all] draw on da wonderful wall. sufi "ra i help you write your name k". ra [without looking. since i was drwing on another spot!] "orh." after a while.. ra "eh!!! wat FLORA?!?!?! wah lau. no wonder you wanna help me write..." sufi : [cant stop laughing]. dats basically how it went. all in all i did we wrote each of our names 4 times! carol's spot. sufi's spot. my heart shaped one. and on da floor! da floor one was cool. ;)
**delon was juz standing behind us. talking abt how when he was in sec2 his frenz and him used their art paint and painted some wall.... mr alwaez-hungry. a.k.a mr yakkity yak! ;)

step 2 : take neoprint!!! hee. dat was super duper fun. all da tugging ang pulling and shoving me and carol had to resort to was worth it man. lolz. da up and down button. da 'kung fu fighting' one. da 'princess carol. princess sufi. princess ra. and bugs-bunny delon' one. da 'smiley' one whereby delon actually SMILED. a NICE. NORMAL SMILE. ;) den da one of sufi strangling him. muz be one of sufi's greatest accomplishments man. esp wif her be-nice campaign going on. lolz.

step 3 : go gelare. and sitting at da same table! haha. i think we sat there for almost 20mins before mr alwaez-hungry finally couldnt take it. and had to order sth to eat. you owe me 6 bucks delon! he ordered brownie wif cookies and cream ice cream i think.

step 4 : eat yakun toast! which was exactly wat me and carol did. so yummie, and da way they packed da eggie. it was so cute. and all cuz of da eggie container. carol and delon started having a conversation on da releasing of CFCs into da evnironment. yes you heard rite. CFCs and da environment.

den we played 7-up. 'chicken backside. wat? chicken backside. wat?...[and so it goes on..]' a very uninformative game of truth or dare. it was supposed to be our forefeat lah. but yar. none of us picked dare. though carol and delon were trying to dare each other to pick dare. how ironic. and da thumb-game. hee. long fingernails realli get in da way sometimes man. ;) so we ate. and played. and talked. and bitched. and... before finally deciding to go to delon's hse [not so much out of wanting to see his super chio sis as well as to see his 1990 photo album of course. we wanted to learn how to play majong. ;)]. but couldnt. cuz it seems da renovations would get in our way. so go carol's hse! [got mini majong set!] but also couldnt. sth abt her room...cluttered. yep. so we ended up coming to my place.

aiyo. for more details. plz refer to sufi's bloggie. dai dee. stress. taiwaness hear attack. and finaly. charades. lolz. and omg. armagedon [dunno how to spell]. elephant eating a peanut. gorillas escaping from a zoo. eiffel tower. a farting hippoportamus [?!?!?!]. alice in wonderland. flora and fauna. hansel and gretal [he ate his bag for goodness sake. sufi..!!!]. fluffy walrus. picking berries in a field. da incredibles. an arabian camel driver. [lolz!!! pakistani eh..].. hahahahahahahahaha...

you guyz are chao crazie lah. but i love you'll so much. and i realli enjoyed your company. onli sometimes i hate you delon. for keep commenting on my freakin hair. and sufi. stop saying its cute lah. dammit. i cant wait for it to grow back.

moving on to other stuff..

'feelings are juz secondary. its da actions dat you take because of these feelings dat impact others and yourself'. da above statement has been proven ok. my fren told me she read about it in a book. so pple. be more thoughtful, seriously. think before you act. BUT. dun be over-thoughtful. as in da cases of a few.. cuz you'd only end up hurting yourself.

i hate seeing you get hurt dearest.

tj frenly tml. im so grateful dat im gonna be able to see shan. and my marie biscuits! ;) either way yan is gonna haf to play. so hopefully she would haf fully recovered by den.

and lastly. im so so disappointed in my darlings. got so freankin pissed at them after da 0-0 draw. and it seriously got worse after reading this morning's headlines. note HEADLINES. i was too pissed to even look at da article.

fergie : manutd as good as out of da [freakin] title race.

11 gaols in 12 games. 4 [?!?!?!?!?!] wins. 6 draws. 2 loses. 29 - 18 = 11 points. behind [freakin leaders] chelski.

its alwaez in times like these. when im reminded of his 'hope thngs wil always go rite 4 u...'. so simple. yet heart-achingly appreciated.

going geylang wif carol soon. sufi may join us later.

thank you lord. for blessing me wif frenz who are worth every bit of my cherishing.

wat kind of gal are you?

2004-11-07T14:14:00.000-08:00

fighter is player.

hmm.. da words dun make much sense at da end. but da pURpLe angel drawing sure is nice.. :)

Your like an angel. You pocess love and bring love
to any thing or person. You love being
yourself. Even though your cute or not. I think
your just awesome. Like you are peace:)

What Type Of Girl Are You???(Amazing Pics)
brought to you by

:)

2004-11-07T13:58:00.000-08:00

fallen is playing.

You're a Spring. You usually are very close-knit
with your friends and value everyone freidnship
you have. You're a real people person and
everyone loves how friendly you are. You're
good with encouraging people but usually don't
like to be the center of attention. You are a
social butterfly and probably are in several
circles of friends but it's just because you're
well liked and you make people comfortable.
You're both fun and wise but you are very
realistic about life.(If you can't see tje
pics, go to my homepage and look near the
bottom and find your result)

What season are you? (pics)
brought to you by

starz.

2004-11-07T12:15:00.000-08:00

heaven is playing.

hohoho. my uncle and cousin juz left. and my cuz juz happened to find me surfing jaslin's bloggie. and thus he proceeded to ask me if i had a blog. i said yea. but refused to give him my webbie. but dat dumb dumb however was kinda clever. he memorised jas' webbie. but jas bloggie dosent seem to haf links. at least i cant find them lah. so we shall juz haf to wait and see if he finds me. heh.. :)

this big big hello..!! is going out to you jayson. if and only if you find me. hee. ;)

tis' a sunday today. :)

manutd gonna be playing man city at midnight. derby match. and its rio's 24th burfdae today! ive alwaez prefered manutd matches to be played on saturdays though.

but yep. i guess as compared to other club supporters (e.g yanyan da toONy fan..) we manutd supporters are actually exremely lucky dat we get to see our team in action every single week. sometimes even twice due to CL matches. tis' da 1st thing to be happie for today.

2nd thing to be happie for happenes to be da best piece of news ive heard all morning. da gooners actually drew. 1-1. against crystal palace. so SAD..

3rd thing to be happie for. last nite was a crappie nite for me. but there actually were starz in da sky yest. given all da rain over da past few days since its da rainy season. its amazing. and there werent just a few speckled dots spreading across da vast night sky. da sky had been flooded wif those sparkly jewels. i love starz. :)

and my 3rd happie thing made me tear. everyime i see starz. i think one true guiding star. im reminded of how da 3 wise men were led to baby JESUS. HE still loves me. HE still blesses me wif so so much. everything i haf i owe to HIM.

but yet..

there is sth i know i can do. and i should do. dat could probably make me one extremely blissful person. spiritual blissfulness is one of da most amazing feelins one can ever feel. da power. da joy. da gratefulness. and da love dat overflows within you. wow.

but im finding it so so hard to let go. of da one thing dats standing in my way. preventing me from entering through HIS doorway. and wif da most ashamed and guilty heart. i haf to admit dat dat THING. dat THING standing in da doorway. is none other den me. i dun wanna let go.

i dun dare ask for forgiveness. cuz ive known abt this for da past year already. and yet. ive refused. fighting and resisting any thoughts which even contain da slightest i-muz-let-go notions.

and even as im sitting here typing this entry. i know wat i should do. but i cant seem to bring myself to committ. ive sinned LORD. da biggest sin ever. more serious den murder or arson. ive sinned da sin of sinning despite knowing dat its a sin.

one day. maybe. i hope. i pray..

i like her purple hair.

2004-11-06T18:58:00.000-08:00

true is playing.

i miss hanging out wif my gal frenz. i dunno. ive juz felt like being around some of my closer gal frenz recently.

twice already in da past two days. ive missed a chance to see sam. im seriosly missing her like crazie. totally not fated to go out either. yan fell sick on wed. and carol fell sick after her bus journey home on fri. and i happened to be alseep when sarah msged. and today. my darling had to go report da lost of her bag. poor gal was one of da 9 victims whose bag got stolen during da chi 'A' level exam. so she couldnt pei wo either. and HY didnt wanna go. if she had gone. i would haf gone.

**realli sorrie moo. but your new rackie should haf cheered you up! another time k. promise. :)

feeling extremely emotional now. juz finished my notes of meeting 39. i cant believe its da last notes of meeting i'll ever be doing...

Ryan Cabrera [True]

I wont talk
I wont breathe
I wont move till you finally see
That you belong with me
You might think
I dont lookBut deep insideIn the corner of my mind
Im attached to youIm weak
Its true
Cuz im afraid to know the answer
Do you want me too?
Cuz my heart keeps falling faster

I've waited all my life
To cross this line
To the only thing thats true
So I will not hide
Its time to try
Anything to be with you
All my life I've waited

This is true

You dont know what you do
Everytime you walk into the room
Im afraid to move
Im weak
Its true
Im just scared to know the ending
Do you see me too?
Do you even know u met me?

I've waited all my life to cross this line
To the only thing thats true
So I will not hide
Its time to try anything to be with you
All my life I've waited

This is true

I know when I go ill be on my way to you
The way thats true

I've waited all my life to cross this line
To the only thing thats true
So I will not hide
Its time to try anything to be with you
All my life I've waited

This is true

i like this song vey much.. :)

giggs burfdae in 23 days time...

where does your beauty lie?

2004-11-06T18:27:00.000-08:00

true is playing.

B:

Your Beauty liesin Plain Sight. Plain, simple and the girl nextdoor. People tend overlook you as you are the
"normal girl", but you're actuallyvery beautiful. And you have plenty about you to
set you apart, but more thatlets you blend. People love the stability you have
because as others may comeand go, you will always be there and you may always
be the same. You like simplethings and that's what people like about you. You
most likely enjoy things mostconsider normal, like movies, shopping, that sort
of thing and are very friendlyand probably have many friends. You are sweet and
kind and that shows on you,but you're also strong and not very naive. You're a
rather well-roundedindividual. Even though some people pass you off as
just another girl, shrug itoff because they don't know what they're
missing.

Some ThingsThat Represent You:

Element:Earth, Light Animal: Cat Color:
Pinks, Blues, Browns Song:Girl Next Door by Pilot Expression: Simple
Smile

Gemstone:Alexandrite Mythological Creature: Fox
Demon, Hobbit Sign:Tauros Planet: Jupiter Hair Color:
Light Brown Eye Color:Brown

Quote:"To the world you may be one person, but to
one person you may be the world."

Where Does Your Beauty Lie? ..::Amazing Pictures And Ten Detailed Results::.. All Fixed!
brought to you by

haiz.

2004-11-05T08:58:00.000-08:00

light of sorrow is playing.

and yep. once again its an early morning post. yan called and woke me up. but yay! she brought good news. ive been posted back to CASTOR. woohoo!!~~ hee. i love castor man. and now i cant wait to go back to school to see who else is in castor. onli sad thing is yan yan got posted to zosma. but she's probably real happie cuz from wat i heard. zosma's colour is green. ugh.

and yep. rite now as im typing this. all my lovely frenz are having thier chi/malay/tamil exams. hang on guys. cuz by da time you read this. you'll all be quite quite free.. after monday's OP we'll be officially stress free. :)

and my diet plans arent exactly working. lost 0.5kg though. sigh. nvm lah..

yest i went spotlight [again!!!!]. hee. i love dat place man. haha. and i found this string-y thing in da ribbons section. so i went to buy da hook stuff. and now i haf a new pURpLe thingy to wear. limited only by your creativity. it says dat on all da packs of beads available at spotlight. but seriously. dun you think dat should be spotlight's moto or sth. limited only by your creativity. interesting line. i like it. :)

one more day to training.. :)

i had a dream yest. yep. dreamt dat i went TM wif my class. and met aud and shan there. and den we took neoprints which turned out realli realli nicely. and den i dreamt dat later on i met sam! at mini toons. spotted her whilst she was buying gummies. lolz. my dream concocted up all my fave things/pple man.

words alone cant express how much i miss you three. 5 days more till i meet shan. da other 2.. :(

im off now. feels like ive got a whole lot more of stuff to say. but i cant seem to find da words.

bye bye. :)

aiyo.

2004-11-04T09:04:00.000-08:00

december love song is playing.

aiyo. im sucha lousy fan i tell you. manutd match at 3.30am this morning. and i DIDNT wake up..!!! i set THREE alarms ok. but still slept thru. missing "one of the most entertaining encounters Old Trafford has hosted in recent times". :(

but..

my darlings thrashed Sprata Prague 4-1!!!! woohoo!!~~ *smileyz* specially woke up at 8.13am to check score. and boy was it worth it. it was all thanks to a rudd van nistelrooy one man show. 4 goals. 3 from open lay and one penalty. dats how brilliant he is.

and somehow or other. its alwaez him who makes me fall in love wif them all over again. all dissapointments and heartbreak are erased. da min he scores. da min he leads us back to the path of victory. he sure is one hell of an important player to manutd. in terms of scoring. in terms of keeping da never-say-die spirit alive. in terms of giving da old trafford faithful sth to brag about. [one of da BEST goal-scorers in da world. and everytime he scores. he juz reinforces upon dat FACT once again]. and in terms of keeping me ever so proud of this most wonderous football club. *i love my manutd..* :)

however. there is one hugely PUZZLING matter..

12 goals in 4 champions league matches. but only 11 in 11 EPL matches. *sigh*. c'mon dearies. we HAF to beat da stupid gooners for da title this season.

moving on..

i stayed home da entire of yest. yep. didnt go out. cuz yanyan fell sick. fever and all. poor gal. anyhow. i had fun at home. *secret smile* :)

its still kinda early. i shall update more later.

cya pple. haf a great morning! :)

p.s. sharktale opens today...!!!!! x)

im damn fat lah.

2004-11-02T22:42:00.000-08:00

di yi shi jian is playing.

aiyo... :( im damn sad. feeling so extremely bloated now. and all my diet plans are not working. i kinda promised myself dat i would lose 2kg by 15nov. and these are da list of things dat i ate today. tsktsk.

1. one bowl of koko crunch [my fave cereal in da entire world...]
2. 2 of shushu's mousey chocolate rum rice balls
3. salty popcorn
4. mini toons gummies [im a gummie freak lah...]
5. macs [my fave fastfood in da entire world...]

ahhh...!!!! sobz lah... liddat how to lose weight. argh. wth sia...

aniwae.

i had a prettie happie day again today though. yeesh. had my fourth OP dry run today. it was yayness. onli shushu exceeded by 0.7secs. but other den dat. all our timings were near perfect. i realli hope all goes well on da actual OP day man. and as i mentioned earlier. shushu was a real darling. making those mouse-y chocolate rum rice balls for us. i love chocolate rummy stuff lah. hee. wif da almonds as da teeny weeny ears. and da little dot of cream for da nose. :)

and den i went to watch a movie. ladder 49. wif sufi and carol and sarah. wasnt like super duper good. but still passable i guess. it sure made me cry a hell lot. nose was all stuffy. and yar. sufi and carol and i were trying to compare who's eyes were da reddest in da toilet. haha. it was a fun outing. :)

and yea. da way sarah described brotherhood. she apparently cried for between half and three quarters of da movie. im seriously thinking of watching it. i like shows which make me cry. da more i cry. da more i like da show. wierd huh. dats me. :)

heh. yay! tml im going out wif my yanyan. i want to but new nail polish. a bluey shade i think. sth dat will add some sort of excitement in my life.

i cant wait for sharktale to open...!!!

haha. ok. i shall go do my Notes of Meeting 39 now. still in da midst of trying to persude sean to haf another meeting so we can haf 40 Notes of Meeting.. :)

goodbye everybody.

p.s. whoever is eating wif me. please try and remind me dat im supposed to be on a diet. thank you for your KIND co-operation.

p.p.s. if any of you'll go and watch movies. and happen to not want da OH-SOOO...-CUTE sharktale pencil case they give free. gimme k? *some horrible pple, namely CAROLINE TAN LI SHAN, just refused to let me haf it..* advance thanks.. :)

can you celebrate.

2004-11-02T09:00:00.000-08:00

can you celebrate is playing.

oh man. its now 8.25am in da morning. all rupert's fault!! came to my place at 8am to collect da parrot's eggs. for all those who still dunoo. rupert is my family's bird-man. yea. we buy birds and sell birds to him. we exchange baby birds. and buy bird food from him.. you get da picture.

im feeling kinda happie. yea. :)

yan yan wrote me another testi yest. eventhough i asked for she. she still did a prettie good job. brought back so many many memories. but i do wanna kill her for da mentioning of LIBERTY. dats giggs' "illegitimate" child by da way. him and stacey are already engaged ok. horrible gal. eh. your shay, who was supposedly to haf become a first time father yest, punched somebody and broke da poor guys niose ok. my darling has NEVER done sucha thing. so pround.. :)

and yanyan. faster go study your chi lah. but yay!! we going out on wed. we must take a NICE picture tog k. so i show to da world your prettie prettie face. [i cant believe i juz said dat] ;)

yeps. and i think most of my good mood has come from me writing all those testis yest. wrote for moo and HY and for my MJ Tennis account. i love my tennis pple!! they've brought so much joy into mu "puny world".. ;)

hee. ive gotta go back to school later. for da forth and final dry run of our OP. OP yest was prettie ok. onli carol exceeded. but juz by a teeny weeny bit. and oh. i went potligght [again!!!] yest! wif carol and tracy. soooo... fun! :)

another happie thing. there's training this saturday. total yayness. and i cant wait for our friendly against TJ next wed. im gonna get to meet shan...!!! miss her soooo much!!!

yea. praise da lord. ive got alot of things to be thankful for. :)

bye bye. :)

to yanyan: yay!! you finally posted an entry on your bloggie [dat you created almost a week agao..] !!

to sam: take care my dear. im sure you're not dat sway k. love you. and i misss you soo... much!!

to god: please please dun let anything happen to sam's leg. i already promised to go down and watch her play next year.. :(

this is killing me.

2004-10-31T22:35:00.000-08:00

can you celebrate is playing.

.[cass.chong lee.zi qin.shiyun.khia hwee.eileen.sharifah.lee hoon.wan wei.nadia.say hwee.leonard.haur shen.kenneth.rico.rathika.pei ying.juling.jorcelyn.yen ling.edmund.rauzan].

i miss 1st 3mths. i miss you guyz like crazie. and whereeva each one of you ends up next year. you know i'll alwaez be hoping for da best for you.

.[...sea urchin.oyster.jellyfish.rainbow fish.puffie.dory.star fish.sotong.penguin!!.great white shark].

a301 foreva!~

wat colour angel are you?

2004-10-31T10:45:00.000-08:00

last song is playing.

i wonder if there's a pURpLe angel..

You're a "Green Angel". You're one personwho is extremely protective of people aroundyou (especially your friends) and you'd end upas a gaurdian angel. You're stronger than mostand aren't ashamed to show it. People know howtough you are and don't dare to mess with youwhen you get mad. You've got a serious justice
complex so anything that seems wrong makes you
mad. You're real close with your friends and
couldn't live wihout them so even in heaven,
you want to help them. You know they'd want you
as a gaudian angel and you'd love to be able to
ensure safety of your friends for yourself
because you're on of those "If you want
something done right, do it yourself" kind
of person. (if you cannot see the pics, go near
the bottom of my homepage and find your result.
look closely to make sure your look in the
right place)

What Color Angel Are You? (ANIME PICS)
brought to you by

wat romance movie best represents you?

2004-10-31T10:37:00.000-08:00

last song is playing.

Everyone remembers the 'faked-orgasm-in-a-deli'
sequence from your kind of movie When Harry Met
Sally. It seems that you're falling for a buddy
or have already fallen for them. Uh-oh. You're
probably caught between the possibility of
having a great relationship and wrecking the
one you have now. You know what they say, it's
better to regret something you did than
something you didn't do.

What Romance Movie Best Represents Your Love Life?
brought to you by

juz blow da whistle.

2004-10-31T02:35:00.000-08:00

last song is playing.

my mum juz left for da airport. she's going to scotland!! for 2 weeks!! another one of her educational trips. she's going there to observe da schools and their schooling systems and stuff. sounds interesting. da flight is damn loong. [3 movies and 2 meals. dats how my dad's best fren put it] almost 16 hrs [s'pore to heathrow airport. and den an internal flight striaght to glascow] cool eh. da onli bad thing abt it is dat its winter. temperatures TWO DEGREES. i'll juz die. oh wells. i hope my mum has fun! :)

two weeks of total freedom. heehee. :)

...

juz blow da fucking whistle.

just. blow. it.

i couldnt feel anymore. i couldnt look anymore. i couldnt bare to. i just couldnt. i dun understand. huh. how. why.

why.why.why. do they keep breaking my heart. we lost. so so badly. rio how could you give away sucha penalty? you're my fortress. my indominable source of strength and confidence. and den came da second goal. i wasnt suprised it was yakubu though. twice already in 2 seasons. he's detroyed us.

nine point difference now. 11 games. 4(?!?!?!) wins. 5 draws. 2 loses.

manutd, da self destruction has gotta stop.

it. had. better.

heehee.

2004-10-30T12:30:00.000-07:00

honey vanity is playing. *bouncy bounce bounce..* lolz :)

its saturday already. and woohoo. im free. its been sucha long long while since ive had free schooll-less saturday. and im loving it. woke up close to 10. den watched 'loving you'. its so irritating cuz i alwaez end up watching alternate episodes onli cuz of school. but haha. im a chi/korean/jap-drama pro. can pick up da story line from anywhere. ;)

its been quite a good week realli. so far ive already written 33 'things to be extremely happie for'.

hee. it of course includes my brief but memorable interaction wif TOM. lolz. *grinz* highlight of my wednesday. :)

thursday was great. wei wei's burfdae!!! :) bought her sausage egg macmuffin meal for breakfast. lolz. by da time we reached school it was already 7.20am. 5 mins to finish eveything. so funnie. and finally by our yi-ren-yao-yi-kou method. we managed to finsh everything. i love my sec sch class clique!! :)

and yayness. training was damn fun. and i felt so good cuz i hadnt gotten a chance to whack liddat for sucha long time. :) and den sitting at da steps wif 3 of my guyz was nice. haha. 3 strong objections towards me climbing da railing or wall or wadeva. da explosion of da bbq powder. and da dunno wat investor nonsense you guyz were talking about. ;)

and oh. i ran 5 rounds on thursday. wanted to run more but i had stitches. and yeesh. i remb my promise to you sean. i got promoted. so im gonna haf to keep my promise and run cross country for you. thing is.. cross country = 4.8km = 12 rounds!!! and i ran 5 today and im dying. *oh-oh...*

and den it was friday. damn sian day. went bowling though. cuz i sot of had 4 free periods in a row. went wif my darling. and sux lah. my bowling skills instead of improving. are deproving. den i had to leave school earlier.

nishi would haf been 10 today. mother bought white and yellow roses. and orangey daisies. they didnt haf lilies. happie burfadae my darling. i miss you soo much...

yep. and now's saturday already. after this im gonna haf to go back to doing my PW stuff.

bye bye pple. i hope you guyz haf a wonderful weekend! :)

quick soccer update:
manutd beat crewe 3-0 in da carling cup 3rd round!! :) *smith. liam miller.OG* yay! :) and later they're gonna be playing portsmouth. *swoons* i love my manutd.. :)

happie belated burfdae smithy! :)

to sam: i miss you loads my dear. i realli cant wait for PW and your chi to be over so we can go out. *huggiez*

lit video conferencing.

2004-10-27T00:09:00.000-07:00

last song is playing.

juz got a ride back home from tracy's father after da lit video conferencing session wif this american high school we had juz now. i like chris...!! lolz. thanks tracy. im so thankful for da ride home. but i think i slept too much suring da bus rides le. now suddenly feeling quite awake. and im in super PW-mode. unimaginable rite.

well yea. i didnt say anything into da mike juz now though. feeling kinda lousy. but im way too mentally dead to care abt dat rite now. maybe tml it'll sink in. i dunno..

we played murderer before we left. for like almost one and a half hours. and wah lau. i never got da cahnce to be da MURDERER. imagine dat. one and a half hours. and not a single time i was murderer. sigh. realli not fated man. delon even tried to distribute da card to dat i would get da 'ace' and "by chance" become da murderer. but no. even dat didnt work. both times either sufi or shushu got da 'ace'. and gues.. they were both sitting on da either sides of me. ARGH....!!! *humph!*

yep. my mind's blanking out already. oh yes!!! we played badminton for PE today. lolz. me and tracy lost to sufi and caroline. so long never play le. my badminton skills haf realli deproved a hell lot man. but it was fun. and funnie. and den jules lost to sufi. so sufi was champion twice. :) yea. i think we owe her drink or sth. [40 cents lemon tea..] :)

haha. most interesting fact of da day. i actually let down my fringe for da world to see today. felt so self-conscious. dunno why also. and delon was like you cut hair??? since when.. how come i dunno??? slow lah. ;) and caroline. i can still remb da look you gave me in da bus ok. da one dat made almost our whole class turn and laugh at my hair...horrible gal. but im considering forgiving you. cuz you bought da $9.60 manutd magazine for my sake.. :)

and my darling sean. all thanks to you. i not only haf found 'carnation'. but now also 'honey vanity'. totally love those songs man. and i hope things work out for you. stay strong yar. anything im here. love ya! *big big huggiez* :)

bye bye for now. tml second dry run for OP. oh yes. forgot to mention. today had my first OP dry run. ive got too much to talk abt. after da given 5mins. i still had 3 slides more. hmmm. must cut down da stuff. sean also exceeded. by 4 slides. but dats cuz he was [sooo obviously..] smoking his way thru our 'hypothetical case study of LIANAH'. yup. carol exceeded by a point or two. only shushu had no enough to say.

hope tml's dry run turns out better. tracy's presentation is soo funnie. lolz. and haur shen was so cute today. 'Now wat to say arh. i forgot.' my god. da class juz erupted into laughter. heehee.

goodnite. :)

wow.

2004-10-25T18:39:00.000-07:00

thinking of you is playing.

we did it. we won. 2-0. i cant believe it realli. not dat i'd lost confidence in them or anything. nth near dat. its juz dat. after da way we've been playing over da last month or so. to come up against arsenal. da supposed best team in da world at da moment. and to do wat we did. is simply amazing.

ameera was shattered. and i trulie know it how must haf felt. cuz my darlings haf left me in pieces after da games before this HUGE match up.

ruud's penalty was simply amazing. he wrong footed lehsmen(?) so wrongly i tell you. and da emotions dat erupted on da pitch after dat goal. ruud's contorted face filled wif so many so many mixed emotions of joy. of relieve. of sweet sweet revenge. da passion. da raw emotions. it showed. and it came thru so beautifully. it made me completely fall in love wif him. wif them all over again.

and den there was smith's wonderous pass. da precision at which it was sent to rooney. simply amazing. i love smith so much. he's been there in so many of our biggest moments this season. da late late equaliser against blackburn. da equiliser against boro. and today da final nail hammered into arsenal's coffin. smith simply rocks. ive been a a huge fan of his since his days at leeds. and i couldnt be happier den i'd been when i heard he was coming to manutd.

i couldnt ask for more realli last nite. i was dat happie. dat proud of my darlings. i love my manutd. foreva and eva..

and oh. happie burfdae rooney. :)

"..punch da ozone, kiss da sky, all you manutd fans out there.

for da mighty haf fallen, da seemingly invincible haf collapsed on their knees, torpedoed not by one but two, clear undisputed goals.

17 long months since arsene wenger unchained his runaway train.

den juz when it seemed da historic 49 games unbeaten mileage would strike da 50th milestone, da bubble burst in da thunder of old trafford.

and in da baptism of fire - and rain - da red devils haf finally begun their majestic march towards denying arsenal their first bact-to-back title ..."

.[giggs.keane.scholes.phil neville.gary neville.rio.silvestre.oshea.wes brown.ruud.bellion.fletcher.rooney.saha.ronaldo.smith.carroll.howy.solsjkaer.heinze.djemba-djemba.quinton fortune.kleberson].

sunday. dat feels like a monday.

2004-10-24T12:34:00.000-07:00

only one is playing.

i woke at 7.18am today!!!! its been a long while since ive had to get up so early ona weekend man. went NUH to visit my grandma. yep. den went giant. bought so much stuff. and yar. spent alot of money lah. i love supermarkets. :)

we went sean's house yest!! haha cookie was sooo cute. but extremely sedated. kept running between our legs while we were at da com. and it realli trulie loves sean man. totally adores him.
da way cookie juz looks into sean's eyes wif its lei wang wang da da yan jing when sean's talking to it is just so sweet. *melts* but when we first came, it was so scared of us. esp of carol. she was so sad cuz she was da most excited at getting to meet cookie.

prettie productive PW meeting i must say. it was of course not w/out da twisties. and chocolate eclaires. and ferrero rocchea. and some beef jerky- pork floss thingy. and lychee drink. lolz.

and of course. da funniest part was when da four of us strated drawing our versions of teenage delinquents. lolz man. sean's delinquent had a super bad hair day. shushu's side view one was prettie cool. and carol's. haha. halfway thru she decided dat she wanted her delinqueny to haf rebonded hair instead of da wadeva hair she had first started wif. and mine looked like a guy at first. but after da makeover we gave 'him' whao man. puRpLe dress wif a peace sign. cyan bag wif hearts and all sorts of nonscence. green shoes wif BIG BIG pink shoelace. high grey socks wif Bright green strips. and oh yes. yellow hair and teal eye shadow wif blusher. so funnie..!!! :) but of course. those horrible pple refused to let me put da drawings as part of our self-designed cover page. i wonder why.... ;)

and den me shu and carol went to eat teochew porrigde. it was not bad. of course da stupid fonecall spoilt my entire appetite lah. so sorrie gals. i shall promise to be more cheerful da next time we eat tog. :)

yep. dat was my saturday. sunday is FINALLY FINALLY here. my manutd arsenal match. cant wait. god realli works in amazing ways i tell you. he planned at such dat this HUGE HUGE meeting between these arch rivals had to take place at old trafford. da largest most beautiful stadium in da world. 67,718 seats if i haven remb wrongly. and wats more. a place in da record book in at stake for da stupid gooners. 50 matches unbeaten if they were to win today. which of course. is entirely impossible because my darlings will surely come out tops. i love my manutd. foreva and eva... :)

*626 mins and counting..*

bye bye. :)

hmmm.

2004-10-22T23:55:00.000-07:00

shine jesus shine is playing.

my fave christian song of all time. i think my today was prettie ok. but somehow everthing seems to be in a blur.

leo's burfdae today. gave him his first installment of his prezzies.

den i got a henna(?). thank you suhaila. prettie prettie butterfly.

i love da photos carol took. super duper nice. think ive gone thru them more den ten times already. lolz. i love looking at pix of my class.

my entire class got promoted. dats amazing. im so thankful dat all of us are going to be striving forward tog. think we're probably one of da very few classes which haf achieved sucha feat. cuz it is so not easy to get an entire class promoted. :) 04a301 foreva~

however..

tml training has to be cancelled becuz da fucking sch will not allow us to book da tennis courts. 5-day weeks!!! argh. da irony of life is sometimes juz too much to bare i tell you. for once when we're actually [more den] willing to come back to school. they close da gates in our face.

suxballs.

and there's dat disgusting PW. onli good thing is dat we getta go sean's hse... ;)

and hewy and clijsters split up. after sucha a looonnngggg courtship. juz after FOUR MONTHS of marriage. they've been broken at love. i was so stunned when i heard da news. den i cried. loved hewy since sec2. den muz ai wu ji wu wat. so i loved kimmy as well. cant believe i'll never see her in hewy's private box in da stands anymore. :(

cant think of anymore to write. ugh. sorrie for da tone. 3 more weeks. hang in there ra. my feelings haf since changed towards da passing of each week. from oh-no!-now-i-muz-wait-2-days-before-i-can-get-to-see-my-beloved-class to plain relieve and sheer resignation dat life muz go on. SCHOOL muz go on. dats wat this horrid school has done to me. it took away my love for school [in general]. i hope it never takes away da love i haf for my class or my tennis pple. cuz den id realli be left wif nothing...

i want training.. :(

good nite.

to yanni!! : could you plz plz write sth. anything!! in your bloggie. onli wierd pple like you haf blogs which contain nth!

today was a good day.

2004-10-21T23:57:00.000-07:00

first love is playing. [sleepy...]

im feeling realli happie inside today. first official training as off after da promos. felt good to be back on da courts. strokes still abit screwed up. but yea. im in love.. wif da feeling i get from being in da courts surrounded by all my tennis pple.

and heeheehee.. when training finally ended was da realli funnie part. we flour-ed leonard!!! lolz. somebody's burfdae tml. so me. yan and sze went and made water bombs. well not exactly water bombs though. they were a few [like 4..] plain water bombs. da rest were filled wif either onli flour. or flour and maggie chille sauce!!! plan was for me to make him go put back da balls wif me. den when we came down everybody would juz start flour-ing him. but dat moo lousy lah. couldnt even tear open da flour+chilli sauce bomb. so i started da ball rolling. tore it open and squished all da stuff onto him. haha... den da rest started attacking him one by one. jumping and screaming and laughs. we got da side of da bball court all messed up.

i loe my tennis pple. and leo sway lah. first person of our team to get flour-ed. we wanted to try it out so many other times but somehow things alwaez cropped up. haha. but nth could get in our way today. yan and i were extremely bent on making sure our plan succeeded. and it did. *im mean... ;)*

but i realli think today was a day dat everyone realli needed. da fun of it all. its been sucha a terrible week for so many. i think leo getting flour-ed juz managed to take our minds off da terrible stuff for a bit.

other happie things today. me sitting and talking wif carol and tracy at my fave stairs. i never thought i would actually haf to repeat my whole story to anyone else again. you gals realli got me thinking abt everything all over again. *smiles* i love you gals loads. :)

im going off now. sean's surely gonna kill me for not preparing my OP slides. but im so super duper sleepy le.

nite nite.

[thank you lord for blessing me wif sucha wonderful day. i realli needed it.] :)

today.

2004-10-20T23:46:00.000-07:00

the boy is mine is playing.

we drew!!!! dammit. second draw in like wat. less den 5 days!! and we're playing arsenal dis sat for goodness sake. meera is sooo happie. i know i sound extremely bitter. but dats wat soccer does to pple. ugh.

jeffery low. you've got it coming man. quote from 'oh, carroll, we're in love with you' from today's newpaper. 'deeper and depper the chute of desperation go Manchester United'.

fucking bastard.

got back geog today. i was expecting an F. got an AO instead. not dat it made me feel any better though. wadeva.

im finally gonna haf training tml. which is realli good. cuz PW sucks. thank god i haf sean wif me.

went tamp today. since all of us decided dat we would rather choose da CCA option rather den da PW option as stated on out timetable. yep. walk walk. talk talk. bought gummies! :) watched as da rest ate burger king. bought a new hairband at montip. its puRpLe! den yeesh. we took neoprints. lolz. da ju-on one. i was smiling lah. but it turned out prettie nice. wellz dat was of course onli after haur shen and his BOYFRIEND played catching and hide-and-seek [where else.. they hid in da guyz toilet] wif us. wat izzit wif guyz and not takng neo prints. i seriously dun get it.

yep. den came home. did my tennis attendance list. it turned out to be realli fun. haha. cutting and pasting all da ticks. 5 of us got 100% attendance for term3. me. yan. salvin. HY. and lionel. :)

den couldnt tahan so went to zzz. den its been PW all da way. sean i owe you big time man. thanks loads. :)

today was like dat. it juz came and went by. school still sucks. the PW workload never seems to be getting any smaller. i ate my danish pastry and drank my coffee as usual. im still dying inside cuz i dunno if some of my frenz can make it anot.

ive gotta stop. bye for now.

pissed off.

2004-10-19T22:51:00.000-07:00

from sarah wif love is playing.

im in a highly irritable mood rite now. which is totally horrible because da past 2 days of this week haf been bad enough.

i got a C for math. imagine dat. carelessness cost me a B. so guess how my parents reacted when i told them abt da C?

CHANGE TUITION TEACHER!!! RA YOU ONLI HAF 3 'A' LEVEL SUBJECTS. YOU CANT EVEN AFFORD TO GET A 'B'! LET ALONE A 'C'!!

wat da fuck man. i juz walked off w/out finishing my dinner.

dats one. two. i haf this fucking 1984 book test tml. and yar. im onli at pg37 lah. da freakin book has 310 pages and all. which leaves me wif 273 pages more. WOW.

three. im extremely sleepy. i had it all planned out in sch today. go home. juz read da fucking book until 2.30. which is when my manutd game is gonna start. i doubt im gonna last dat long. they better win man. got me so irritated last sat when they drew. against birmingham for goodness sake. i miss giggs. :(

four. im highly stressed out. too many pple ard me are not doing too good. which juz totally makes me wanna cry. outta helplessness. and worrie. its eating me away. cuz i dunno wat to say. cuz i hate seeing them so upset. da look they hold in their eyes. da sadness. god it hurts. and cuz i dunno wat id do if they werent there wif me. by my side.

five. oh yes. guess wat. we're getting back our geog tml. dat surely has got to be my most screwed up paper this time ard. straight F. and if im lucky. a [super duper LOW] AO.

six. i feel myself scowling. and slowly i melt. and da tears begain to fall..

school sucks. so bad so bad so bad. cuz of wat its putting all of us thru.

to carol and shu: juz keep praying k. i hope they moderate da math paper. cuz i so badly need you guyz to make it. i couldnt survive math w/out you two by my side.

to carol and tracy: delifrance was fun. ;)

and to da rest of you guyz: hang in there? you'll feel better after a good cry? there isnt much i can say. juz know i'll alwaez be here if ever you need someone to talk to. a shoulder to cry on. wadeva. i'll be here.

i wun forget you.

2004-10-18T23:05:00.000-07:00

i wun forget you is playing.

The fading light of day lingers on your sleeping face
My lover's lullaby lately lost its tender grace
Somewhere in your dreams tonight
Let my lips come close to you and hold me tight
After all I hardly bear
To turn my back to loving arms and leave you there

Baby, I won't forget you
And I won't regret you
I won't forgive you
Anymore, no more

We said our first hello beneath a blue umbrella sky
A simple moment shared by strangers who were passing by
People say when you're in love
It seems as if tomorrow almost never comes, no never comes
After all your loving touch
Through my eyes of love to me it means so much
And that's why

I won't forget you
And I won't regret you
I won't forgive you
Anymore, no more
I won't forget you
And I never let you
Anymore, no more

Baby, I won't forget you
And I won't regret you
I won't forgive you
Anymore, no more

another of those fucked up weeks. i feel it. da crazie mood swings. da tears. da everything all rolled up into one. :(

to my dear: i love you so so much. and it hurts so bad to see you so upset. if onli there was dat
perfect solution dat could make you happie instantly. you know id present it to you.
*super tite huggz*

not juz another week.

2004-10-16T16:50:00.000-07:00

last song is playing.

its been wayyy long since i last updated this site. sorrie guyz..

its been sucha looonng week i tell you. exams finally over. caught wimbledon wif yan on friday. not realli a show i would recommend to you'll but yea. i onli watched it cuz ennis was involved aniwae. me and yan could predict every move and evey shot they were making lah. yep. dat cliched.

monday had to go back to sch for open hse stuff meeting. nd to do tennis booth stuff. den i had a mini zzzover at my place. in da end onli sufi and tracy could make it. some ple sick. some pple's parents didnt allow and yea some had realli impt places to go to. watched forrest gumP! and da terminal. and lol. we slept like 10mins into 13 ghosts!! hee. sorrie sufi. another time k.

den da disasterous hair cut on tuesday. i shall stop here. thank god alot of pple cant tell.

and den wednesday it was back to sch. crap i tell you. intra hse games aws boring. (sorrie liza!) i juz though it would haf been much more fun if we had played all da games as a class. lolz. and i chased sean all over da field juz to throw dat one mizerable water bomb at him. and i missed lah. budden all thanks to delon, [da stupid dumb dumb schemed against me, and 'whispered' to sean to drag me to da sinks in da canteen]. i managed to drench both sean and him!!! haha ;)

yep. den it was open hse stuff all da wayyyy. god i was so stressed out man. soo much stuff to do. and we were running out of money. and we had to keep changing da stupid game. wadeva. den still had to stay back for cheerleading prac. i love my class sooo much man. we totally rock.

den thursday happened. we missed interhse [onli sean and delon rep our class] and da NYAA talk to practice our cheerleading. i cant believe we onli got third. but yea, as sufi and liza already mentioned in their blogs, i had a lot of pple coming up to me telling me dat PHOBOS should haf won. north south east west.... total crap man.

and den it was back to open hse crap. had so much left to do still. but in da end we finall set up our stall. and our game was actually quite fun. played tennis a bit. ran 5 rounds wif lionel and HY. extremely depressing end to da day. i almost broke down outside da courts. i love my tennis pple. so so much. HY. moo. lionel. chong lee. im so glad all of us talked abt wadeva we had talked abt dat day. *big big big huggz*

and finally friday happened. it was the day. MJC open house 2004. prettie crappie day but there were certain things dat happened dat totally made my day.

1. i got to spend loads of time wif my tennis pple.
2. i played tennis wif sean and delon and haur shen. lolz man. ;)
3. i got to spend time wif my darling and xy and sw.
4. i saw di and hanisah and li huan. *rejoyce!*
5. our tennis booth didnt make much money i know. but everthing abt it rocked. da deco. da
gifts. da sweets...
6. i kept bumping into sufi and tracy and carol and juling. [which was good. cuz openhse was one
of da few days dat id gotten to spend so little time wif them]

above were da most impt things i guess. by da time it had ended. i couldnt move. went straight back bathed and plomped onto my bed. and slept and slept. den woke up cuz sean called [freaking PW meeting at 9aqm]. den slept snd slept until this morning.

oh man. PW was crap. sean and i got there first. lolz/ we didnt even haf da strength to talk to each other. we juz listened to delon's cd. den finally carol and shu arrived. did some stuff. not very productive today. esp me! cuz i was totally gong. started talking abt promos in da end. who we'd heard had gotten wat grades amd reatained and all da shit. freaking promos man. i cant believe juz how much stress and worrie and sleepless nites it has caused all of us.

MONDAY's the day. and i am soooooo dreading it...........

lastly.

to my most wonderful class pple:
esp to sufi and tracy and carol and juling and shu and meera and suhaila and liza. i love you guyz soo much. thanks for da precious memories you guyz left me wif during cheerleading. its so dumb dat we didnt win. but as long as we know deep within our hearts.... nth else matters. *muackz* a301 foreva!~

to my wonderful tennis pple:
thanks so much for all da efforts you guyz had put in for da open hse. we had our little disagreements. but im so glad we managed to clear up eveything so fast. our tennis booth rocked!! and yea!! we finally haf a team picture! hee. yan.leo.sze.HY.salvin.moo.lionel.chong lee.felicia.aud. you guyz realli mean da world to me. *huggiez*

to my darling and xy ans wei wei:
i dunno wat id do w/out you guyz. and to my darling esp. thanks for alwaez being there to hold my hand or to gimme a much needed hug when things started to get bad. love ya! *muack muackz* :)

to sam:
i couldnt live w/out you. thanks for getting me thru da exams. and thru my everyday. cheer upz ok. cuz i realli hurts me to see you upset. i'll alwaez be here dear... *ra huggz sam super titely!*

to delon:
thanks. actually its realli your cd i want to thank. but since you passed it to me. thank you. its realli wats been keeping me going da past few days. esp 'last song'... :)

take care pple. *smileyz* :)

its da last day.

2004-10-06T09:33:00.000-07:00

last song is playing. its damn nice.

purple nail polish. pink daisies. the soft wind blowing gently. wind chimes tinkling in da dist. music playing. an everlasting supply of coffee. and brownies. and apple pies. macs hotcakes? rainbows after each downpour. a sky filled wif jewelled stars each nite. butterflies fluttering everywhere. da flickering flames of candles.

my rackie. my manutd games. my sa-sa. and my bo-bo. my puffy lump. and goggly too. sam's huggz. my presence of my most precious frenz.

sometimes how i wish my life could juz revolve around such beautiful phenomenons. and all da earth angels god has sent for me. i never realli knew da true meaning of da word 'survive' till dis week came along. i never thought i'd see da light again.

i hate it.

2004-09-30T13:12:00.000-07:00

on da way down is playing. [in my head]

oh god!!! promos start like tml!! and i am so bloody unprepared for it. i think maybe it hsnt eben hit me yet dat if i do not pass properly. i could get. actually i would get retained. worse still. i could get kicked out.

totally mizerable ra down here. :(

*ahh........!!!!!!*

aniwae. luck luck to all you wonderful pple out there. nth much to say cuz da freakin promos has killed all my moods. goodbye for now.

manutd thrashed fernerbache 6-2!!!! *woohoo*~

i feel like dying

2004-09-14T22:09:00.001-07:00

total eclipse of the heart is playing.

Turnaround
every now and then I get a little bit lonely
And you're never coming round.
Turnaround
every now and then I get a little bit tired
Of listening to the sound of my tears.
Turnaround
every now and then I get a little bit nervous
That the best of all the years have gone by.
Turnaround
every now and then I get a little bit terrified
And then I see the look in your eyes.
Turnaround bright eyes
every now and then I fall apart.
Turnaround bright eyes
every now and then I fall apart.
Turnaround
every now and then I get a little bit restless
And I dream of something wild.
Turnaround
every now and then I get a little bit helpless
And I'm lying like a child in your arms.
Turnaround
every now and then I get a little bit angry
And I know I've got to get out and cry.
Turnaround
every now and then I get a little bit terrified
But then I see the look in your eyes.
Turnaround bright eyes
every now and then I fall apart.
Turnaround bright eyes
every now and then I fall apart.
And I need you now tonight
and I need you more than ever

And if you'll only hold me tight we'll be holding on forever

And we'll only be making it right cause we'll never be wrong together
We can take it to the end of the line.
Your love is like a shadow on me all of the timeI

don't know what to do and I'm always in the dark.
We're living in a powder keg and giving off sparks.
I really need you tonight - forever's gonna start tonight

Forever's gonna start tonight.
Once upon a time I was falling in love but now I'm only falling apart.
There's nothing I can do - a total eclipse of the heart.
Once upon a time there was light in my life
But now there's only love in the dark.
Nothing I can say - a total eclipse of the heart.
Turnaround bright eyes
turnaround bright eyes.
Turnaround
every now and then I know you'll never be
The boy you always wanted to be.
Turnaround
but every now and then I know you'll always be
The only boy who wanted me the way that I am.

Turnaround
every now and then I know there's no one
In the universe as magical and wonderous as you
Turnaround
every now and then I know
There's nothing any better and there's nothing that I just wouldn't do.
Turnaround bright eyes
everynow and then I fall apart.
Turnaround bright eyes
everynow and then I fall apart.
And I need you now tonight
and I need you more than ever
...
Once upon a time I was falling in love but now I'm only falling apart...
A total eclipse of the hearta total eclipse of the heart.
Turnaround bright eyes
turnaround bright eyes
turnaround.

today was crappie. i feel as if i'll never stop crying....

da day i lost. and found my fone.

2004-09-13T00:32:00.000-07:00

on da way down is playing.

'The Lord is merciful and gracious,
Slow to anger, and abounding in mercy.

He will not always strive with us,
Nor will He keep His anger forever.

He has not dealt with us according to our sins,
Nor punished us according to our iniquities.

For as the heavens are high above the earth,
So great is His mercy toward those who fear Him;

As far as the east is from the west,
So far has He removed our transgressions from us.'

-Psalm 104:8-12

it was as i was reading my fave verses from the Bible dat da fone had rung. He knows. He realli does.

Thank you Lord. esp for the 4 + 3 earth angelz dat you had sent down for me.

tracy. carol. kkk. lionel + da old granny. da bus driver. nurse adeline.

*im gonna be missing f.r.i.e.n.d.s like crazieeee...* :(

ive missed you.

2004-09-11T18:10:00.000-07:00

on da way down is playing.

*exhales*

i juz got back not long along ago from my zzzover at my uncles place. whao. alot of mixed feelings towards da 1 day 5hrs spent there. started off good. meet my uncle at da lobbly of his office. OUB centre. got difference ok. from UOB plaza. me and my sis were like standing in da middle of both buildings. if they cant help but be located NEXT to each other. cant they at least use different alphabets? haiz. 3 used up. still got 23 more mah.

oh wellz. den we headed straight to my uncles. and dived straight into da pool. da pool was real cool and all. didnt even feel as if we were in spore with the palm trees swaying pretty violently cuz of da sudden gusts of wind and also da kinda of shack shelters. da brown ones made from dried leaves dat you usually find in bintan. yea. da whole scenery was perfect. plus da fact dat i had my cousins laughing and playing ard me. matt and erica. should haf been da perfect getaway.

BUT.. i dun like swimming very much. a little while sitting by da pool or sth is fine. but we spent da entire afternn in da pool. 4hrs plus. i was dying. i know im sucha wet blankie. but i realli couldnt help it. to make it worse. we had jap food for dinner. ra dosent eat much jap food. i only eat da familiar stuff. like da crab meat thingys. and my poor uncle was looking so upset cuz we werent eating much.felt so bad. dat i stuffed everything down. oh god. da car ride back was hell. i was feeling so extremely pukey.

movie nite made it all better!! my uncle has like a million and one DVDs at his place. cartoons. romance. adventure. everything! and he has a projector. it was super cool. and he even specially went out to buy chwee kuah for us. caught 'cheaper by da dozen'. which actually turned out to being quite a decent movie. i liked mark. and beans. haha. den we watched 'pirates of da carribean'. oh man. it was so damn good. cant believe i hadnt thought of watching it. i'd realli haf missed out on a great show.

yep. den next morning we awoke. actually i was awaken by my cousins who had jumped on top of me. they said my wonderful sister had given them permission to. yea. had breakfast and den they wanted to head down to da pool. again. *why cant i remb having dat much fun in da pool when i was younger?* but yea. i went down aniwae. and took a walk! haha. to da tennis courts. da sights were pretty interesting. there was a coaching session going on. 2 girls and 2 guys. between da ages of 5-8 i think. yea. and da coach was trying to train them in doubles. it was so funnie seeing them trying to do da 'switch'. cuz they couldnt seem to keep a straight face whilst shouting 'urs' and 'mine'. funnie. i seem to haf not much memories of da time when i had just started learning da sport. kinda sad. and yea. watching them play juz realli made me wish i could play too. *argh*

yea. den after da pool we headed out to lunch. had chicken rice. at this place along holland road or sth. bought mooncake! :) and my cousins bought a few games fopr their xbox as well. 'teenage mutant ninja turtles' and 'barbie goes on an adventure'. hahahaha. my sis and i didnt know whether to laugh or to cry whilst watching them play.

yeps. dat was my zzzover. totally homesick. i forgot to bring my sa-sa wif me. hee. missed it loads. and i dunno. ive been feeling pretty crappy da past few days. and den suddely i didnt haf time to brood over certain stuff. dunno if dat was realli helpful. and da studying part. aiyo. so totally screwed.

but i love my cousins. haha. matt's 6 and erica's 4. they loved playing wif my fone sooo uc. couldnt stop trying to pretend dat someone was on da line. and instead of they taking. they made me and my sis talk. haha. and we kept playing mummy/daddy. hee. they were super hyper whilst we were ard. dun think im gonna get to see them for quite a while. plenty of memories to hold on to.

im realli glad. yea. that was my past 2 days. manutd playing bolton today. nistelrooy is returning. should be good, and hewy is playing dat johansson guy. wat a waste man, roddick! to get broken at dat point in time. aniwae. i cant believe da ladies singles finals as well. goodness. both capriati and davernport had to lose their semi finals matches. damn dumb.all russian match up now.

go manutd. go hewy. go ra. *sigh* one more day left to my mizerable holiday.

but later for dinner my dad's making steak. heehee. yay. i feel so contradictory. like doing AQ liddat. but as i said. not realli i lah. but as we all know. life has to go on. better to take joy in such little things den to live a generally mizerable life.

so yea. bye bye my darlings. *muackz* x)

down down down.

2004-09-09T23:03:00.000-07:00

on da way down is playing.

Sick and Tired of this world
There's no more air
Trippin' over myself
Goin' nowhere
Waiting
Suffocating
No direction
And I took a dive

And on the way down
I saw you
And you saved me
From myself
And I won't forget
The way you loved me
On the way down
I almost fell right through
But I held onto you

I've been wondering why
It's only me
Have you always been inside
Waiting to breathe
It's alright
Sunlight
On my face
I wake up and yeah, I'm alive

'cause on the way down
I saw you
And you saved me
From myself
And I won't forget
The way you loved me
On the way down
I almost fell right through
But I held onto you

I was so afraid
Of going under
But now
The weight of the world
Feels like nothing, no, nothing

Down, down, down
You're all I wanted
Down, down, down
You're all I needed
Down, down, down
You're all I wanted
You're all I needed

And I won't forget the way you loved me

All that I wanted
All that I needed

On the way down
I saw you
And you saved me
From myself
And I won't forget
The way you loved me
On the way down
I almost fell right through
But I held onto you

Down, down, down
But I held onto you
Down, down, down
But I held onto you

today was liddat. mind filled wif stuff. den a sudden break in concentration comes. and it hits you. you go blank. get all tensed up. everything comes to such an abrupt halt. 2secs. 3secs. 4secs. 5secs. and den only da rythmn of my breathing sets back in. your eyes dart ard. its ok. you're safe. frenz all ard. go back to wat i was doing. calm on da surface. but inside. da after effects of tension linger.

but no matter wat. life still has to go on. harshest piece of truth ever. above heartbreak. and i think even above death.

on da way down.

2004-09-08T19:48:00.000-07:00

on da way down is playing.

its wednesday today. sth's changed. my outlook of life maybe. my take on the things dat haf happened to me and da pple ard me. i cant say exactly wat though. cuz i cant seem to find da rite words. but one things for sure. ive somehow become more confident. stronger in a sense. more resilient. cuz maybe. juz maybe. im starting to face up to my past.

i haven blogged in days. and its not cuz i had no time or dat i didnt want to. so much had happened since monday. its juz dat everytime i sat before da screen. da words didnt flow. and wadeva dat was able to come out didnt feel...like me. its been hard. stuff's happened. certain memories keep coming back. i dun think they'll ever go away. but their resurfacing has been especially strong these past few days. maybe cuz of da photos. maybe cuz now ive got my own room. ive got all da time in da world to spend alone time wif myself. maybe its cuz she keeps bringing them up. maybe maybe maybe.

it seems so unreal at times. like alomost im a bystander looking into someone elses life. budden when i look at da photos. her face. her hair. her smile. da way she looked when she was enjoying herself. da way she sulked. she's ard me. everywhere. and da most vivid memory i haf of her is da way she used to rushed to da door to greet me when i came back from school. every single day. she never failed to greet me with dat smile of hers. hair bouncing all abt. arms out stretched. in preparartion for a hug.

i miss her so much. my fallen angel.

Clear skies,
Chimes tinkling as the soft wind blows
But my tears,
they cant stop falling..

Im thinking of you,
your smile, your laugh.
Behind my smile there is a sorrow so deep,
even the hugest of tidal waves wont be able to wash away..

Our memories will forever be etched in my mind.
Nothing will ever displace it.
Im falling deeper, deeper
into my own little world
where only you and me exist..

Where are you, my child,
I miss you.
Ive alwaez believed in fate
But this time round,
Im not so sure..

Im looking to the starz for direction,
Im calling out to the angelz for answers.
Guide me Lord,
Towards the acceptance of my lost,
of this fallen angel,
Nishtha Ruth Davamoni..

i love you nishi. forever and ever.

to you my dear fren: i love you. thank you. for listening. and for being you. i'll alwaez be here if ever you need me.

hahahaha.

2004-09-04T22:11:00.000-07:00

shizuku is playing.

im feeling realli bored now. but bored in a good sense. maybe a little crazie even cuz ive started talking to myself. lolz. i juz traced out my left hand in my artsy bookie. yea. and i even painted its nails to according to how my nails haf been painted. *dark pink/light pink/black/light pink/black* cool eh. i know alot of you'll find my taste in nail polish wierd. but it makes me happie. too bad. *evil smiles*

told you im feeling hyper. must be cuz of my mum. oh man. i was going like 'i hate my mum. i hate my mother' to every single person i saw thsi morning. she gets me so pissified. she's taking serious control of my life i tell you. 'ra, wat time do you end sch today (sat)? im coming to pick you up.' im like 'huh?' wth man. but as you'll can see. ive already slipped into i-cant-be-bothered-wif-her-nonscence mode.

im sucha horrible daughter i tell you. and oh. it turns out my hp bill came up to $58.48 in march. quite a few months back. but my mother today came up to me and showed me this table she had plotted abt my hp bills. da no. of mins i spent talking. da no. of smses i used. *delon's stupid-face look. da stupid part x100*

imagine dat!!! she actually had a table plotted abt my bills. and oh. she decided to change my plan for me. so starting monday i will haf NO caller-iD. dat actually is one of my fave functions/aspect/wadeva you call it of my fone. oh well. and yea. i'll haf free incoming. so yea. you'll will haf to call me.

ehhh. wat else. oh rite. yest was funnie i tell you. tracy, sufi, carol and i suddenly went crazie and started roaming abt da school taking pictures. roaming seems too mild a word though. moo said i was crazie after i had told him wat we were doing. lolz. took pix of ourselves running on da track. took pix wif da vending machine. took pix on da stairs in front of da bus3 bus stop. took pix at da window of da wall. haha. *we had to tip-toe like siao* took pix wif mr eric chua in da tennis courts. tried to take a pix of ourselves in da canteen.*embarrassing ourselvse in front of da whole canteen during da process*. and da last pix we took wif ms yao. *den only did da stupid camera decided to auto-rewind* i had so much fun. x)

oh yes. i had a math test today. should be able to pass lah. sacrificed a lot of my zzz time cuz of it. i had better pass man. yea. den for breakfast i went wif shushu and carol to west plaza. ate wanton mee!:) den.. went back to school for da cca workplan seminar. i had fun realli. cuz of my tennis pple dats why. i went. yan went salvin went. plus leo and chong lee. and moo was there too. we were crapping thru out. only filled in ONE SENTENCE of our 'goals/obstacles' paper: to get into the top 6 in next yrs national schools tournament.

haha. and da funniest part was dat we . actualli i and leo decided to add some 'style' to our tennis team goals paper. he snipped off all four corners wif my funky zig-zag scissors and i coloured our names. 5 pple ao 5 different colours. haha. and we laughed so hard while handing da paper up to ms choy. she juz gave us her usual 'roll-her-eyes' look. and in da end i think she couldnt help but smile at our childishness. *tennis pple are crazie. all da more reason for me to love them!* hee. x)

ermz. i cant remb anything else. to summarise. i haf a crazie mother who has juz decided she wants to play an extra big role in controlling my life. *sigh* but rara is still happie. cuz ive got such lovely pple in my life. namely. my darling class. my crazie tennis pple. sam and da rest of my tk clique. so despite all da rubbish dats going on and da stupid mood swings i haf. i think im gonna make it. *wat a revelation!!*

im off for now. and yes. finally one of da most impt reasons i must make it. is dat only by passing my promos can i become an ogl again. *i love castor!* x)

lastly. *biG biG biG huggiez* going out to all da wonderful pple i love. and who love me back. i couldnt haf made it this far w/out you'll.

bYe bYe! x)

i love my darlings.

2004-09-02T03:40:00.000-07:00

dun wanna try is playing.

yest da com man had to come fix my as-usual-alwaez-letting-me-down com so i had no time to update abt da things dat happened during my fab weekend!!

da time i spent in sufi's hse wif her delon liza and shakir was so memorable. da funnest part was dressing delon up. da first was when we made memories of him suffering under da hands of his sister resurface. *fingernails= black/yellow highlighter/pink/reddish/purple , sufi's huge hoop earring , purple lipstick , purplr hairband :)* and den in da crazie arab camel driver outfit.

da zzz over at jules place was so funnie. i loved watching anastasia. despite delon make so many many stupid comments dat during da saddest part, tracy and i didnt know whether to laugh or to cry. anastasia aws like 'this is for dimitri! this is for me! and this is for you!!!' den rasputin dissolved into ashes. dat stupid delon was like how come he dissolved so fast. den sufi was like "he's been dead for 10 yrs delon!!" oh man. -_-"

haha. den da ame of charades!! delon+sufi vs tracy+jules+me.hahaha... certain pple couldnt decipher 'MY girl' and 'girlS and boyS'. ;)

school on monday was even more happening!! we looked damn damn hippie. even though dat stupid yan said i dressed like an ah-ma. haha. and juz looking at da pix dat haf been posted on our class blog and on sufi's blog. my heart is overwhelming wif emotions. love and happiness and juz such beautiful memories dat will alwaez stay wif me. da retro car. and outside lt5. and during our 'i wanna hold your hand' /stoned hippies performance. total yayness. :)

highlight of da soiree was liza singing 'hero' wif shawn. and i realli enjoyed nissa(?) singing sarah mclachlan's 'angel'. juz found out dat she was from tk. no wonder she looked so familiar. yea. and it ended 47mins late!!!! at 9.47pm!!! 13mins to da second last epi of frenz.

rushed to sufi's hse like mad wif her and delon. carol couldnt make it in da end. i love frenz. luckily da season finale has two parts to it. totally dreading da thought of wat im gonna do when it actually ends.

"You really think I didn't say goodbye to you because I don't care?/I cannot believe that after ten years, you do not know ONE thing about me./Because it is too damn hard Ross. I can't even begin to explain to you how much I'm gonna miss you. When I think about not seeing you every day, it makes me not want to go... Okay, so if you think that I didn't say goodbye to you because you don't mean as much to me as everybody else, you're wrong. It's because you mean more to me. So there, all right, there's your goodbye... "

those words realli cut deep. *rach.joey.ross.phoebs.chandler.monica* :(

yea. peace my darlings. i love you'll. muackz! :)

i love sam.

2004-09-01T06:49:00.000-07:00

fallen is playing.

i love sam. :) im so damn sleepy. but im feeling so happie and loved inside.

its da actual teachers' dat celebrations today. *mj had no sch!!* met my frenz back at tk at 10. and wow. sooo many people from 4e4 went back. i think maybe even more den half da class went bcak. i was so happie to see them. and hian yin. and aud and shan. god ive missed those people. hugged them so tite.

hmmm. didnt realli say happie teachers' day to mnay teachers though. onli ms johara and mr ang. i wish mr connor was still there. :(

da concert dragged onto abt 12. damn sian. but yayness!! da end of da concert marked da funnest thing. cheers!! oh how i wish mj had such exhilarating cheers dat get you so pumped up after it. we did da tk philosophy and da anthem. woohoo~ and seriously, i think we were louder den all da ple in da hall combined. we rock.

den we decided to go for sort of an impromtu class lunch. budden in da end only 10 of us made it. zhiying xinyi ming yun yean ching emma xy darling sw sam and me. :)haha. as usual. we ended up in da B1 foodcourt. jac dropped by. yea. talk talk talk. den decided to go gelare. sw had to leave for her very first class outing of da year!! yea. den along da way we met catherine. and for some reason or other. we ended up at yakun. and yeesh. after a while we sort of split up into 2 cliques. den when yean ching had to leave, me sam and xy went starbucks. da others decicded to go walk walk.

mean sia we. pao qi da rest of them. i wish wei wei was there too. fanally after much indecisive moments, sam ordered us a large mocha frap. da guy was like laughing at us cuz we spent sucha long time trying to decide. ;)

i love sam. :) haha. 3 of us were having so much fun juz sitting by da starbucks railing trying to figure out whether it was juz a natural thing to do. or whether it was us. cuz everytime pple walked by us. they looked at us. it was realli funnie. cuz we ended up betting to see who could tell which person would look at us and which person wouldnt. heehee:) yea.

and we took so many photos. sam lah. juz changed her film before she came. had 36 shots to use up. i think we took almost all 36. haha. thru out da whole afternn we were stopping every few moments to haf our pictures taken. so pai seh cuz we all wanted to be inside. so we had to keep asking da other shoppers to help us take. i think we even took one outside da toilet! *in front of da red board dat shows you how much it is to fly to certain countries. paris/auckland/jakarta and a whole lot more lah* ;)

we talked abt a whole of of stuff. abt how they couldnt stand da colour of my nails. *pink/purple and black* abt new pple dat we had met at sch. abt playing doubles. and as usual. abt how we wished we were all still in da same class. :(

den we started listening to sam's new dics man. so happie. she put my happie song as track no.1. *accidentally in love* :)

finally had to leave. at 5.22pm. xy had tuition. i hate goodbyes. cuz it alwaez makes me never wanna let go. i hate da thought of not being able to see sam until dunno how many months later again. :(

Thru the many trails
Though the tears might keep falling
The spirits keep dampening
And the hope keeps slipping away
The frenships forged
Juz makes it all worth while..

Its amazing sometimes
How someone can juz enter your life
And turn it upside down.
No words can describe
How their words can juz melt your heart
And lift you spirits
No logic can define
Why your lips juz automatically curl upwards
Not juz in that instant,
But for the many more instances to come ..

The sweetness of it all
Is juz too good to be true.
It makes you think sometimes
How in the world did she do that?
Make the world seem so much nicer den it really is
Make yourself feel so extremely loved..

It muz be the works of god
Another angel sent down juz for me
In the form of you..

i love you sam. not forgetting xy. wei wei and my darling.

frenz foreva and eva and eva.

hahahahahah. :)

2004-08-29T09:10:00.000-07:00

angels would fall is playing.

juz when i thought [you guyz let me down again]
you made me fall in love all over again
no matter how i run
i juz keep on falling in
love all over again.

i love manutd. thank god for smithy.

yea. wat a scare i had yest. first da news of NO MORE epl screenings!!! wth man. thankfully they decided against implememting it. and den when i came home from sucha wonderful outing. i found my manutd 1-0. brad friedel's form rocked, much to my irritation. but yea. we missed chances as well. rollercoaster match. next up is everton. tuesday morning. :)

back to my wonderful day out. had training first. was ok. doubles drills. queen/king of da court. but i wasnt as fit as usual. was very tired physically. but yea. i still enjoyed it. got hit by da stupid green ball twice. first cuz da ball took a deflection of moo's rackie and den cuz dat stupid yan yan juz couldnt resist whacking da ball leo had hit to her. right smack in my hip. *ooww!*

yuppie. den i went bugis to meet da rest! tracy, sufi, ju, ameera,liza, suhaila and delon. carol arrived abt da same time as me. it was hot and stuffy and crowded. but it was fun i tell you.. bought this looonnnngggg PuRpLe and orangey-yellow skirt and a white top for 'hippie day' aka 'love meridian day'.

haha. and i think practically da whole class got their clothes from dat one single store at bugis village. *my first time there* so funnie. walk up and walk down. in da end we still returned from where we came from. yea.den half way thru ameera and suhaila had to go.

den walk walk abit more. returned to bugis junction. tracy and ju left. sean popped by a moment to collect his clothes. long enough to haf tako pachi wif delon though. den after he left it was juz sufi, liza, carol, delon and me. went KFC to enjoy air con. budden it was too full. so we juz sat outside.

*im juz narrating yest's entire events* yea. finally we decided to go TM. check out da medallions and all. haha. it was fun. but da stupid medallions were juz too ex. da toys 'r' us trip was fun though. bought this purple heart shaped necklace. so barbie dollish. liza got one too. and so did carol, for petrina's pink box.

walkie walk walk. den decided to go spotlight. we juz sat there and didnt stand up for at least an hour i tell you. so funnie. finished petrina's pink box. laughed at/along wif carol abt her highly interesting biking incident. teased(nicer word for insulted) delon. liza was high yest. (must haf eaten da one-packet-$10-you-want-anot thingys) lame. oh well. teased delon some more. played ard wif dat stupid country grass broom like thingy wif da pink ribbon. and sufi. lets juz say she was quite accident prone as a child. x)

last nite was highly memorable. *i belong to a trulie wonderful class* cya guyz tonite! muackz! :)

its all about you jesus.

2004-08-26T04:36:00.000-07:00

its all about you.

When the music fades
All is stripped away, and I simply come
Longing just to bring, something that's of worth
That will bless your heart

I'll bring you more then a song
For a song in itself is not what you have required
You search much deeper within, through the way things appear
You're looking into my heart
I'm coming back to the heart of worship
It's all about you
It's all about you Jesus
I'm sorry lord for the thing I've made it
When it's all about you
All about you Jesus

King of endless worth
No one could express how much you deserve
Though I'm weak and poor all I have is yours, every single breathe

I'll bring you more then a song
For a song in itself is not what you have required
You search much deeper within, through the way things appear
You're looking into my heart
I'm coming back to the heart of worship
It's all about youIt's all about you Jesus
I'm sorry lord for the thing I've made it
When it's all about you
All about you Jesus

*i miss going to church. esp da singing part* :(

rara not happie.

2004-08-24T22:38:00.000-07:00

you are not alone is playing.

manz. im so damn sleepy. and all cuz of da stupid rain. training was cancelled. realli fet like playing today. yea. so moo, lionel, hui ying and i decided to continue our talkie. airpot part 2 to be held in da canteen. in da end we learnt how to count from one to ten in german and in tamil. all thanks to moo. it was funnie. with all da ways moo was teaching us to roll our tongues and all. no.11 in tamil is pathi-non-dru. cool eh. :)

den when da rain finally stopped. we couldnt find a singlr teacher who could open da courts for us. so irritating. yea. so we all trudged home very unhappily.

got so much hw to complete by tml i tell you. 'characterisation in utopis' eassy. as well as rehana's essay structure. but besides my canteen time wif my tennis pple. there was another happie thing dat happened today. our time in da band room! :)

it was so fun. wif them on da drums and guitars. haha. and da bells. everyone was practising at da same time. wif da music blaring on as well. so noisy! but in a good sort of noise way. i was happie. excited realli. first time i had stepped into da band room. haha. and den they had to do zhuo wen. so i did my math. room was quiet for a bit. but it wasnt long before we got noisy again. and haha. dat stupid spastic moment where tracy, carol and i decided ti form alphabets with our selves. we made 'z' and 'j'. and 'i'. so funnie. couldnt stop laughing. =)

i wanna hold your hand is a realli nice song. all of us seem to be singing da 'i wanna hold your hand' part whereever we go. it just comes out. i cant wait for monday. i was so proud when i heard our very own a301 musicians perform today. maybe my ears are not so musically trained. but so wat. it felt like. and it suredid sound like the real thing to me.

keep it up guyz! a301 roX~

im off for now.

*why cant it be butterflies and rainbows dat moves us along?*

angel of responsibily

2004-08-21T11:59:00.000-07:00

how could an angel break my heart is playing.

we did it. 2-1. :)

my mum made peach pies this morning. da custard part is real yummie. :)

yea. i had a pretty enjoyable day yest. i was da only one in da team who didnt sit for a test in da morning. da rest of them had either econs or chem. some had both! ugh.

training was doubles drills thru out! volleys. volleys amd more volleys. haha. but i do think my volleying standard had dropped. hmm. i hope it picks up. well yea. den after since da samuel's hse outing had been cancelled. i joined them for lunch. and boy, was it an interesting lunch! ;)

went airport wif lionel, hui ying and moo. we meant to study after we ate. but for da 3hrs plus dat we were there. we just talked and talked and talked. oh man. such gossipers!

*rara had fun!* =)

yup. den when i reached home, my mum said she wanted to go parkway. so yea. we went. bought some stuff. and yes. i finally got down to buying black nail poilish! *exciting* haha. *wriggles toes* they're black! :)

angel of responsibility

'my ability to respond makes me feel accountable. i am joyfully responsible for my life.

whenever we use our ability to respond with our talents and capacities, to all dat is ascribed to us, we are being responsible. this can mean using those talents and abilities for da good of all in a light and joyful way. responsibility is only a burden when we forget to use our talents and cut ourselves off from da flow of spiritual energies dat are alwaez waiting to help us whenever we can respond.'

dats da direction in which i want to head my life in in da next few days/weeks. being joyfully responsible. :)

*smilez*

thursday.again.

2004-08-19T19:56:00.000-07:00

shikuzu is playing.

we didnt make it. 0-1.

i cant believe juz how fast this week has zoomed by. sunday he left. monday was yan's burfdae.
tuesday i was told some horrible news. da news carried onto wed. and now its already thursday.

tears threatening to fall. da numbness is there again.

i love my goGGly.