Sunday, November 07, 2004
heaven is playing.
hohoho. my uncle and cousin juz left. and my cuz juz happened to find me surfing jaslin's bloggie. and thus he proceeded to ask me if i had a blog. i said yea. but refused to give him my webbie. but dat dumb dumb however was kinda clever. he memorised jas' webbie. but jas bloggie dosent seem to haf links. at least i cant find them lah. so we shall juz haf to wait and see if he finds me. heh.. :)
this big big
hello..!! is going out to you jayson. if and only if you find me. hee. ;)
tis' a sunday today. :)
manutd gonna be playing man city at midnight. derby match. and its rio's 24th burfdae today! ive alwaez prefered
manutd matches to be played on saturdays though.
but yep. i guess as compared to other club supporters (e.g yanyan da toONy fan..) we
manutd supporters are actually exremely lucky dat we get to see our team in action every single week. sometimes even twice due to CL matches. tis' da 1st thing to be happie for today.
2nd thing to be happie for happenes to be da best piece of news ive heard all morning. da gooners actually drew. 1-1. against crystal palace. so SAD..
3rd thing to be happie for. last nite was a crappie nite for me. but there actually were
starz in da sky yest. given all da rain over da past few days since its da rainy season. its amazing. and there werent just a few speckled dots spreading across da vast night sky. da sky had been flooded wif those sparkly jewels. i love
starz. :)
and my 3rd happie thing made me tear. everyime i see
starz. i think one true guiding
star. im reminded of how da 3 wise men were led to baby JESUS. HE still loves me. HE still blesses me wif so so much. everything i haf i owe to HIM.
but yet..
there is sth i know i can do. and i should do. dat could probably make me one extremely blissful person. spiritual blissfulness is one of da most amazing feelins one can ever feel. da power. da joy. da gratefulness. and da love dat overflows within you. wow.
but im finding it so so hard to let go. of da one thing dats standing in my way. preventing me from entering through HIS doorway. and wif da most ashamed and guilty heart. i haf to admit dat dat THING. dat THING standing in da doorway. is none other den me. i dun wanna let go.
i dun dare ask for forgiveness. cuz ive known abt this for da past year already. and yet. ive refused. fighting and resisting any thoughts which even contain da slightest i-muz-let-go notions.
and even as im sitting here typing this entry. i know wat i should do. but i cant seem to bring myself to committ. ive sinned LORD. da biggest sin ever. more serious den murder or arson. ive sinned da sin of sinning despite knowing dat its a sin.
one day. maybe. i hope. i pray..
Posted by paint me purple_ at 12:15 PM
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